IMO- something I learnt from others (as I used to be pissed if someone tried to lie to me)- not all lies are done with malice. Her lies hurt the husband, not OP.

They’re not responsible for keeping the secrets, sure. But we also don’t know her circumstances (clearly OP didn’t either, if they only found out she was married now). You can feel vindicated that the “cheater/liar got punished,” or whatever, but I imagine you’d feel different if OP posts in the future saying next time they see her she has a black eye (or it’s in the news she was killed or something), now wouldn’t you?

Personally I’d have confronted her about it and asked first. And personally- coming from a seriously fucked up family upbringing myself- not all marriages, “even with kids” (sometimes especially with kids) should exist, some are a curse on everyone involved. I’d have thought most people nowadays can understand that on some level, in such spaces in particular.

Good point, in regards to that her lies did hurt OP (unintentional as that may have been). FWIW I didn’t think OP is a bad person, it was a difficult situation and in the heat of the moment, I can’t claim that I would have necessarily acted differently (hell, I’d say I genuinely used to be a bad, or overly spiteful/vengeful/malicious person about such things).

My comment wasn’t written as, or intended as a judgement of OP’s character (which wouldn’t be defined by just one thing, hell, “good” people can do “bad” things), that said. I just wanted to bring up what everyone else here seemed to have not considered- what I’d like to think I’d do, if I approached things from a calm and collected manner, and the insights that I’ve had shared with me from others (not always taking lies personally definitely wasn’t something I learnt myself).

There’s all sorts of reasons why someone could cheat, or even (highly circumstantial and uncommon) reasons why someone should cheat. And seeing all the comments moralizing about always outing or condemning cheaters also just put a bad taste in my mouth (as someone who’s never cheated, myself- though coming from the childhood I did, I can’t claim possessiveness/exclusivity matters in the slightest to me).

Obviously,you should make sure the person you’re outing wouldn’t be put in danger by this first,but it’s definitely not something to be excused

I mean, if someone were to be put in danger by being exposed- wouldn’t that be a pretty damn good excuse?

Neither of my parents cheated, as far as I know (and if they had, good chances are I’d have known). They just tortured each other (and the kids) for a decade, while spiraling deeper into certain Catholic mindsets/circles and quiverfull-adjacent nonsense. And then they tortured each other for the better part of yet another decade (taking several years to properly divorce despite being separated, having a long, drawn-out divorce which only further ruined their already long-since ruined lives).

Not invalidating your own experiences here, but it’s a big world out there, and there’s probably just as many out there with experiences like mine as with yours. As a kid my parents’ separation (nasty and destructive as it was) was still a relief, and when it was finalized with a divorce it was all the better. Some things (or many) are simply cursed from the onset.

This, 100%. u/Feinsteins_Ghost, if you have any doubts, you should probably at least check in on her to see if she’s fine.

TIL of .

what is even the fucking difference between fascists and libertarians?

First as a tragedy, then as a farce (for all the libs, libertarians included, that have come since). They’ve been kicking a dead horse for almost a century now tbh, though I suppose there’s a sort of (deeply tired and terrible) humor to it, as they can always discover new pathetic lows for humanity.

Stalin definitely fucked though

Also, no offense but please, touch grass and consider the human element of things. Cheating generally sucks but there’s a whole world of circumstances out there (many of which are far more common than you’d like to know) which would excuse or even justify it in varying degrees, and even if we’re to assume uncharitable things, they’re still human beings (who have messed up in doing very human things).

Many totally messed up/dysfunctional people know how to keep a good face on for the public, and/or even have a particular preoccupation with doing so. My family, growing up as a kid, definitely was one such example- and eventually facades tend to break, but it can take years. Hopefully this isn’t one such case, but you never know.

My condolences to anyone living in the geographic boundaries of ““Alberta”” (as someone who was raised there and has since escaped to equally shitty pastures)

What amounts would be meaningful to him? And would he be open to, say, starting a GoFundMe or alternatively finding other ways for people pooling money (say, sending you small amounts till it adds up to something significant and then you could send him in one lump sum) to aid him, as most people can probably at least spare small amounts (which may be little even after currency conversion, but would add up to something) and would want to?

Also- though best not to get his hopes up yet (and hell if I know if I even could), so probably not best to mention/translate this part yet- but, from seeing another comment in here talking about marriage as a means of escape- I would have to talk to others and figure it out, and I’m trans and not exactly looking for a relationship (in a poly relationship) so it wouldn’t likely be a real thing if anything were to come out of it. But from the sounds of it, he is open to the idea of marriage as a means of- well, having a more secure place and perhaps more resources to save his family?

This secondary part can probably be mentioned, on the other hand (and maybe others might have interest in offering the same, or pooling together our efforts/resources to work towards the same). But if he is trying to leave Egypt as it sounds, medium-term (ie. over several months, by the end of the year) it is probably not out of the question that money could be pooled (and while I’m poor I could hypothetically aid in such a way) that he could be aided in purchasing a ticket to a western country, despite all the problems that also exist here. If he has interest, while I have no experience in this regard I also could certainly reach out to people and look into what resources may be available to aid him in doing so to get here (in Canada), and what resources there might be to help him through a refugee/etc. process. I have the time and am willing to offer it, and I imagine others do for their respective regions as well.