Sombyr
Gender: Female, Sexuality: Enigma,
Disabled and autistic as hell.
Omnipotence means you can do literally anything, and anything includes having perfect control of your powers without knowing how to use them. It also includes the ability to continue to interact and exist as an omnipotent being even if you were completely, utterly, 100% destroyed.
If you were omnipotent, you could just decide that every action you take will benefit you in some way and then, it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re doing the right thing. You could even just choose not to lose yourself in your newfound power.
You don’t have to know how to do something to do it when you’re omnipotent. You don’t even have to know the option to do it exists to choose that option. Because omnipotence means the ability to do literally anything, even when it makes no logical sense.
Of course, none of this makes logical sense. It doesn’t have to, because omnipotence isn’t a scientific concept or anything. It’s a word we chose to define in a contradictory way. It’s like if we made a new word that means “somebody who can do things they’re completely incapable of doing.” Not even really a paradox so much as a word whose definition makes no sense.
The weirdest part to me is that an omnipotent being must, by necessity, have the ability to create a being with powers exceeding omnipotence. Something more powerful than them. But they must also have the ability to overpower their creation, otherwise there’d be something they can’t do, and they would therefore not be omnipotent. That’s just a mindboggling thing to think about.
In horror games, I always try to domesticate the monster by letting it follow me around the map without catching me. Then I have a buddy.
You know what weirdly does fill me with dread though? Space games. I played around with space engine and it doesn’t matter what I’m looking at or where I am, I am just super uncomfortable and want to stop. Those’re my horror games.
I’m not the only one who thought it was fucking hilarious, right? I know it’s supposed to be body horror, and I do generally find Junji Ito’s stuff goddamn disturbing and horrifying, but this is the first one I saw and it just looked so funny to me that all his other stuff caught me completely off guard.
I do a similar thing to help myself get started, and the secret is it doesn’t have to be chores. Step one can be literally anything that’s easy to do that you’re not currently doing. For instance, my step one is often something as simple as talking to somebody. Then step 2 is something closer to what you need to do. Like if I’m gonna need to do something that requires more energy, my step 2 could be taking a walk, or if I can’t get myself to do that, pacing around a bit.
You just work up until doing the task you need to do becomes the natural conclusion. If my task was cleaning the bathroom, the next step after walking might be brushing my teeth, then I say “Well I’m already up and doing stuff, and I’m already in the bathroom. Might as well clean it.”
And it’s not always gonna work, which I think is okay, as long as it works often enough that my space remains livable.
As somebody with schizoaffective, which is similar to bipolar, I can definitely get those extremely rapid cycling mood swings over the course of just minutes. According to my psychiatrist, this is, in fact, a very common experience.
The smaller mood swing’s magnitude is affected by the larger ones though. Like being in a depressive phase, if I snap aggressively, I’m more likely to follow that up by crying and apologizing after, whereas in a manic phase I’m more likely to abruptly completely ignore it minutes later and now act like you’re my best friend.
I can’t speak for if that’s a normal thing in bipolar, but it’s definitely a thing in schizoaffective, and is dramatically more common when a major life event stresses me out.
It’s partially that, but I more use obscure definitions for words rather than their intuitive ones. The issue is I don’t know what the average person will understand.
The bigger problem is probably that I’m super autistic and expect people to know what I’m thinking just because I know it. I write a thousand paragraphs clarifying useless details to try to be clear, and then somebody will be like “Okay, but you never even once mentioned what it is you’re talking about,” and I’ll be like “Oh, I assumed by the fact that I said I was excited and mentioned several things that don’t happen in real life that it was clear I was talking about a new game I was enjoying.”
I never know what details are actually useful to clarify until somebody’s getting confused about one of them (or usually more like 50 of them.)