Basically, title
Look up classic ADHD coping mechanisms. Others have mentioned some in this thread like studying with someone (body doubling) or enforcing a schedule. One big reason procrastination works is that the stress/adrenaline acts like a stimulant that is one of the normal medications for ADHD that helps you focus.
One other suggestion is to study when well rested (first or second thing in the morning). ADHD symptoms can be exacerbated by being tired.
Wouldn’t it be cool if we could somehow keep a moving target to initiate the “almost too late” panic that will finally cause some shit to get done.
Everything is always due in the morning or something
Yes, and honestly that’s how I coped for a long time. It leads to stress and burnout and major crashing. Not a good long term solution.
Do not try to become her manager or parent or psychologist or coach. It will negatively impact your relationship.
https://www.getinflow.io/post/adhd-authority-issues-defiance for some ideas on why.
If you have a problem with how she is behaving, you will not be able to change it through external influence. If she really has ADHD (emphasis on disorder where it is negatively and significantly impacting her life AND is diagnosed) and is unmedicated, the single best thing she can do is get medicated, and that’s her choice. If medication isn’t working, she should talk with her provider about it.
If she requests help, feel free to provide it. Feel free to ask her (and not internet strangers) if there’s something you can do to help her as she’ll know what works and what doesn’t as ADHD isn’t a monolithic diagnosis and what works for one person might drive another up the wall.
Sorry if this seems a bit negative, but I was in school when all the Where There’s a Will There’s an A and all the techniques in the world did not make a difference to people that can’t utilize them, but they can frustrate and shame people.
In hindsight what helped me back in school was having someone to study with, maybe that could work for you?
I was going to say the same thing. Doing it with her, and at the same time every day (or every other day) would be the most helpful if she’s like me. Even better is getting her to join a study group with others taking the same exam; it’s a lot easier to do things for others who depend on me than for myself alone.
Lots of good ideas here, but don’t forget to discuss these ideas with her first.
I’d recommend reading ADHD and Adults, it’s a good intro to how ADHD works differently in adults than children.
Then maybe talk about her difficulties with her, and ask how you can help. Work to understand her perspective first, what she finds difficult, what she finds frustrating.
Then pick one thing, together, that you can help with. You need to work as a team, taking on challenges together (this is sort of relationships 101, it’s a team thing).
Thank you for the book suggestion, it’s on my radar.
Then maybe talk about her difficulties with her, and ask how you can help. Work to understand her perspective first, what she finds difficult, what she finds frustrating.
We discussed about it earlier this weekend. In summary, she finds hard to study because it still seems “far away in the future” (it’s in early September), and on the other side, she also feels like even if she studies a lot for it, she will never feel ready.
She has already failed that exam in the past.
I can’t figure out if she has even asked for his help on this, if she hasn’t then perhaps he should just back off until she does.
Plan in a session each day and be next to her, just watching her.
That would be what helps me most, planning in a timespan and then having someone look at me to not fuck it up
