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Computer science terms that sound like fantasy RPG abilities

I’ll start:

  • Firewall
  • Virtual Memory
  • Single source of truth
  • Lossless Compression (this one sounds really powerful for some reason)

Your turn

Hard mode: Try not to include closer to domain-specific things like javascript library names

156 points

Scroll lock. To protect your scrolls.

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19 points

Think that’s that wizards get when they’re having trouble studying.

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5 points

Happy cake day!

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6 points

Huh, no shit! It’s been a year already.

I think that means I’m getting old.

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3 points

There’s an infamous tech support tale dating back to the Windows 95 days of a very religious lady who wanted all of the wizards removed from her computer. Similar for an individual who absolutely did not want any mice around their computer

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2 points

Or prevent an opposing caster from using one or more scrolls

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141 points

Polymorphism

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46 points

The orc becomes a pile of gelatin, quivering, you now must choose what it will become.

Roll for…

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51 points

… seduction

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31 points

You roll a 1.

This causes an unauthorized access exception and a giant bouncer rapidly approaches, screaming in fury.

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22 points

Encapsulation kinda sounds like it could be a spell too. That’s 2/3 pillars of OOP.

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10 points

The last one was atomization, right? Gets a bit out of fantasy, but can definitely sound magical

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6 points

I cast atomization on the giant. (9th level warlock spell)

On a failed save the targets head evaporates killing them outright.
On a success roll a d4 (or higher for higher number of limbs) and the limb clockwise from the head evaporates. Dealing either 25% or 150HP which ever is higher damage.

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130 points

World wide web would be an OP spell

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23 points

A crack forms below you… and suddenly a tunnel collapses inward beneath your feet.

After a short while your fall is arrested. You are now snagged in a web, in the dim light lit from where you fell you can see this web goes on, all around you, seemingly forever.

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111 points

Heartbleed

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36 points

a list of named vulnerabilities would be a great starter

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38 points

I cast CVE-2014-0160… at the darkness

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4 points

I cast CVE-2015-0565 at the goblin horde.

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I am a level 17 Install Wizard.

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41 points

Installation Wizard - A wizard hired to protect a specific building or location.

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6 points

alternatively just an HVAC technician who casts enchantments

“For the last time i am NOT an ‘installation wizard’, i am an engineer! I didn’t spend 5 years studying enchantments just for people to compare me to bedsheet-wearing dementia-addled codgers!”

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20 points
Deleted by creator
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12 points
*

Roll for intelligence… 16. The progress of the one hit BEG killing spell is 33%

<many turns later>

Roll for intelligence… 3. The progress of the one hit BEG killing spell is 96%. That’s the only action you can take on your turn. You better hope the party can stop the army from hitting the power source of this spell before it finishes.

Roll for intelligence… 5. Since that would be more than 100 the progress of the spell rolls back to 91%.

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