It’s insane to me that someone who has trouble socializing would force themselves to go to parties. Maybe it’s something I’m too autistic to understand. Disabilities are suppose to get you out of doing shit. For example I use my epilepsy to never step foot in a club cuz lights. I’m not even photosensitive 😂
“Parties” is barely a category, everyone has a different idea of what one should be. There’s A LOT of variation. To some people it’s sitting around a table playing board games, to others it’s about getting drunk and hooking up, and anywhere in between.
Personally I’m AuDHD and I can stans certain types of parties and not others. I actually kinda hate playing board games and prefer going out as long as there’s music. Lots of bodies present isn’t a problem for me, it’s actually the opposite. The worst type of party is one where I’m expected to socialize as the main event.
For the longest time I would try to push myself out of my comfort zone. I thought eventually my feelings about doing “normal people stuff” would change. They did not.
Just tell people you don’t like dancing, or karaoke, or whatever enough times and eventually they internalize it. I spent years cultivating a reputation with my friends and now I can just vanish for an hour at any party and nobody bats an eye. Need my “me time”. New people sometimes think I’m cold or don’t like them but they either learn and that’s cool or I don’t see them again and it doesn’t matter.
The thing is, it can be really hard to accurately assess why you feel an aversion to things, and whether or not that aversion is misplaced. I can come up with scads of seemingly reasonable objections to, for example, going to the gym. That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t benefit from it.
Overcoming an innate aversion that you’ve convinced yourself is a part of who you are can be life-changing.
As someone who has developed extreme smell sensitivity due to a disorder, not wanting to be around other people because of the way they smell is something I totally get.
People really do not know what they smell like. And a lot of people do not smell good. Not just because of some lack of bathing either, maybe some other choice, like they really love spicy food and you can smell it on them or they’re wearing what they think is an attractive perfume and is definitely not.
Personally if you tell me you do things because of your astrology bullshit I will hate you much more than if you just say you’re autistic.
You aren’t wrong but, I have a feeling you’re not among the kind of people that the poster is talking about.
The key isn’t in managing whether people like your or not, the key is in not wasting time with followups. If you say you’re on the spectrum, you’ve started a conversation, if you say you’re into astrology, people who believe in it move on and people who don’t have done this before and realized that this is not a conversation they want to have.
Would you ask any follow up questions about astrology or try to get me to stay?
Tf is meant by “alphabetise something”???
Like organize (alphabetically, but that’s not necessary since this is really just a metaphor) something kinda pointless but satisfying like a bookshelf of books or recipes or my assorted drawers of labelled usb cables lol
In the past, in parties I just left and didn’t give a fuck . Period. And if anyone asked me later I said I had a great time but at one point it was enough fun.
I used to do what we called backdooring it as in you just leave without telling anybody. That way you don’t have to deal with all the drunk people saying “come on just stay a bit longer” etc.
It’s called the “Irish Exit”, actually, because we’re all sociopaths and have no time for pleasantries. I assume.
I thought the Irish exit is when you’re so drunk you just wander off, coz that’s what I used to do hehe.