Speaking as a freeform blob. Roundness? Yes, I have some ot that. Sharp pointy bits? Yep. Little tangles? Ya, a few of those too.
All words are made up, boomer.
Boomers think the solution to every problem is religion, “work harder” or alcohol. I knew not to listen to most of them when I was a child. I definitely don’t heed their puerile advice now, especially after watching so many of them get blindsided circa 2008 and again during Covid.
Thank you for teaching me about rejection sensitive dysphoria, I think it has been playing a role in my struggles, but I didn’t know it.
I’m an elder millennial, practically an x-er, so its my first time seeing some of these terms.
Some of this stuff, like time blindness, yeah I get that and am medicated for it. Hours just fall off for me. Rejection sensitive dysphoria? Yeah that’s another one I’ve identified in myself and others but didn’t know the term for. I can’t say I have it all the time but sometimes it can feel quite acute.
But justice sensitivity? Like, what does it even mean to be NT? It’s just going along and not giving a shit about anything except what is immediately in front of you? Is this why I feel like I don’t relate to a lot of people?do people just like not change in a conscious way, or even think? Why does the concept of justice even exist if it is only important to a minority of non NT people? I find this incredibly strange. And I say this as someone who probably is justice sensitive, so much so that politics is a big part of my life, but then most of my friends and non-work relations are as well.
For me, it’s that we were told that we live in a society with rules, but then people with money and power routinely break those rules. It’s incredibly frustrating and confusing trying to understand and navigate multiple rule systems when only one system is written down, but the unwritten one is being followed.
It makes me irate seeing people lie just enough to steal money from those around them, but not enough to go to jail. Most NT people don’t have the time/energy to care, but it’s like a hot poker in my side knowing that someone is “breaking the rules” and getting away with it.
My wife is very rule oriented, she likes to understand what her place is, and make sure she is living up to the explicit and implicit (with a limit only of her vivid imagination) tasks in order to fulfill her role, as long as she understands the reason for the rule.
I am much more chaotic and didn’t give a fuck about rules for a long time because its all external and alienated. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve developed an ethics, not morality, that if anything is much stricter than what is “necessary.” But my own ethics have, to the best of my ability, good reasonable justifications, with a high standard for logical consistency and self growth and actualization, whereas I still see those externalized rules, especially the ones that seem to undergird the logic of private property, oppression, imperialism, patriarchy, racism; to still be external and alienating, if not just corrosive to the human spirit.
My ethics compel me to.do things that others wouldn’t dare, their morality compels them to do things that I can’t even comprehend. Its like no matter what the rules are, I’ll always find damn good reasons to be feisty. This of course plays beautifully into my afore mentioned rejection dysphoria which isn’t chronic but still acute; and comes on strong in moments of self assessment of just these dynamics.
Its almost like people are impossibly complicated, but maybe that’s just me
The life is inherently unfair and the structure many people seek is nonexistent or outright a lie.
Many people put big hopes in a dream they just have to get good marks in school and learn and work hard and they will be rewarded but it has never been my experience. You either born lucky or not, roulette.
Many in my class were born less intelligent, poor and worked very hard and still couldn’t understand what I understood very fast. It was unfair. I watched them struggle and it was uneasy deep down.
This awareness honestly has been very painful all this time and I have yet to find some kind of cope other than leaning into it and just becoming callous beast. It’s the easiest way out
