22 points

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

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9 points

What’s brown and red and sticky?

Another bloody stick.

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5 points

What’s brown and runny?

Usain Bolt

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6 points

What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre.

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6 points

Why does Snoop carry an umbrella?

Fo drizzle.

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18 points

I didn’t invent this but I was really proud that I ‘got’ this readers digest joke from the bathroom copy when I was 10? and it’s stuck with me.

Person A is on the elevator and Person B gets on

Person A: “You look like Helen Brown”

Person B: “You don’t look so good in black either”

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17 points

Two muffins are in an oven.

One goes, “It sure is hot in here.”

The other muffin says, “Holy shit! A talking muffin!”

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5 points

This is my casual go to, love freaking out as the second muffin.

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14 points

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig.

(Say it aloud.)

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4 points

That really made me laugh, then I told it to my husband and had even more fun, I was crying/laughing. Thank you. XD

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3 points

You’re welcome!

And based on your user photo, it looks like you have a really good cat. I thought it was important to say that.

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1 point

Looks like you do too! We love our Murphy. He’s a super senior at around 20–21 years old.

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2 points

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

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4 points

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no i-dear.

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0 points

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow to no legs?

Ground beef

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13 points

What’s the difference between zombies?

Zombies make honey and zombies don’t.

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Apparently I’m too stupid to get even a stupid joke.

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9 points

Say “zombies” aloud and it kind of sounds like “some bees.”

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Yeah, I figured it out an embarrassing amount of time later.

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Never mind. Ignore me. I’m an idiot.

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