Someone I know shows stuff such as:
- constantly needing a scapegoat
- shifting blame/cannot take accountability
- exaggerated mindset, often where other people are useless and they are the greatest
- has to maintain a very positive public image, such as being the absolute best
- does not have empathy unless it involves them or impacts their image in some way, if their image is supposed to be empathetic they will act so because of their image
- lacks empathy for people in pain/bad mental health/etc. but their image might be very upset about that
- will often be very nice to people in any sort of power
I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious if I should help, and maybe that even if they exhibit negative behaviors, they’re not a completely TERRIBLE person despite how they treat me.
There no helping them now. They were already elected president…
What? No, they’re talking about…huh…I mean, I guess that’s true. Everything this person said applys to trump, and I see nothing disqualifying the fact that they WEREN’T talking about trump.
I guess I just…I still haven’t accepted that 2016 actually happened. It still feels like a very fake tv show. It doesn’t help that it’s basically the plot to Back To The Future 2. It felt like a rerun happening in real time, which is what this feels like now…
…can someone get me on the REAL timeline? I’d just love to not be here in this reality. At all. In any way.
Sounds like classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I loathe saying that because people throw the word around for any rude behavior. Don’t listen to me, here’s the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5 (DSMV) official description:
as signified by the existence of any 5 of the next 9 standards (American Psychiatric Association, 2013):
- A grandiose logic of self-importance
- A fixation with fantasies of infinite success, control, brilliance, beauty, or idyllic love
- A credence that he or she is extraordinary and exceptional and can only be understood by, or should connect with, other extraordinary or important people or institutions
- A desire for unwarranted admiration
- A sense of entitlement
- Interpersonally oppressive behavior
- No form of empathy
- Resentment of others or a conviction that others are resentful of him or her
- A display of egotistical and conceited behaviors or attitudes
I would add:
- An inability to admit they are wrong under any circumstance.
Perhaps the other line items cover that?
My mother hit hard on 4-6 of those items, so I do have some experience with the type. Sometime in my early 40s I realized I had never heard the woman admit to being wrong, or state an apology, ever, not once. Kinda freaked me out to muse on that.
I have no idea how to help such a person. How do you help someone whose very personality hinges on the idea that they’re already perfect? It would be telling to have them read the above and see if they find any of that in themselves. No? LOL, that’s a clue.
First, I want to point out how much I HATE when people throw around the term narcissist for any general run of the mill asshole.
That being said, this person sounds like a narcissist.
Reminds me of my mom. And it took me about 30 years to figure that one out! Like you said, “they’re not a completely TERRIBLE person despite how they treat me.” It’s not easy to give up on someone that you are close to. Especially when, that other person is NOT MENTALLY ABLE to know that they did something wrong. They are shocked that you would overreact in such a way, after all that they’ve done for you! And they’ll remind you of the time YOU messed up, and besides, it wasn’t their fault anyway, you misunderstood/ can’t take a joke / shouldn’t listen to those liars who told you that.
There’s no hope here. Only pain. You can never show them the light, if you try to explain how they hurt you, they’ll get upset because you’re “being so mean to them”. And by the end of that conversation, you somehow end up apologizing to them. And wondering how the hell you ended up in this situation AGAIN.
Trying to teach them how to feel regret or guilt is like trying to teach someone paralyzed from the neck down how to walk. They just can’t do it, and insisting that they could if they just listened is just going to piss everyone off.
Hope my ramblings helped some. I’m sorry you’re in this position.
People with NPD have to see they have an issue and want to change. Most never do
I’m convinced they are unable to. They don’t choose to ignore it, their mind never lets them know.
Sounds like a perfect personality. Presidential material, even.
Ffs go look at this poster’s history. If this post is about anyone, it’s probably themselves.
I don’t see where you’re getting this. All I see are tons of posts from a (inappropriately for social media) young lesbian who only has lesbian and bi friends who need all kinds of advice.
I’m a little surprised no one questioned why one of the young teen lesbian couples is apparently regularly spending the night together such that snoring is an issue.
