157 points

They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.

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32 points

You’re just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it’s just going to keep happening.

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51 points
*

Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth

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17 points

on accident

Rather than by purpose? #54%

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14 points

I’m a masochist but I have my limits. Lol

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6 points

I think they’re calling you out on saying “on accident” rather than “by accident”

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4 points

There’s also the weird decision to put a bunch of easily-bruised bones in your butt which would normally be used for a tail.

I once had a creationist defend the coccyx as being necessary for keeping muscles together. That was fun.

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105 points
  • separated genetalia from waste systems

  • removed body hair and baldness

  • fixed acne glitch

  • added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration

  • rerouted laryngeal nerve

  • uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically

  • reinforced spine and knees

  • simplified foot structure

  • adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment

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27 points

added ability to change biological sex

PLEASE

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19 points

i’m not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don’t want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated…

…perhaps we’d do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let’s just leave it like it is and not create horrors.

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25 points

Just have us piss from asshole

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20 points

Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.

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14 points

I do that already :(

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2 points

Turn standing while peeing into an actual skill.

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14 points

I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too

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5 points

Smooth on top, rugged in the middle

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4 points

I’d like to be able to alter body hair density based on climate.

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4 points

Reabsorption of uterine lining is called being “in heat” in dogs and cats. It’s quite common in the animal world, and it makes all the males very rapey.

One of the prevailing theories about why humans pair bond is our males can’t tell when our females are ovulating/menstruating so it’s advantageous to be kinder and stick around for more sex.

TL;DR: I think that’s not a great idea.

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1 point

Interesting, didn’t know those two things were linked.

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4 points

What’s the laryngeal nerve and what’s wrong with it?

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1 point

Iirc it goes down your neck, makes a 180 around an artery at the height of the breasts and goes up your neck again.

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3 points

Let’s also reroute the ulnar nerve, thx

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3 points

Remove hangovers

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2 points

For some reason when I read this I read “Reticulating Splines” instead of reinforced spines. I was like wow random sims reference.

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59 points

-cartilage in joints can regenerate

-body can synthesize its own vitamin c

Other species already do these things smh.

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15 points

We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

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53 points
  • Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
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22 points

Yeah, it’s crazy to me that people believe we were “intelligently designed” when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

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4 points

you mean the slightly more muddy amusment park, that is next to the new, purprose built one, right?

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12 points
*

This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can’t properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.

So, I’m gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.

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7 points

“left user note to pause breathing while swallowing to prevent esophageal trespass when backup breathing interface used for food consumption. No change recommended to emergency breathing access. Closing DOC_UPDATE”

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7 points

Wasn’t this a compromise that allows speech? Babies can drink and breathe at the same time.

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2 points
*

I remember reading humans can still “breathe” amniotic fluid once they get passed the gag reflex. I remember wondering how someone figured that out… Maybe it’s just a theory

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43 points

We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there’s much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it’s just not it.

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12 points

Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.

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4 points

The engineer solution: back to egg laying, which also fixes menstruation

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4 points
*

Agreed, that shits rough on people. Impacts of teeth and post-partum. Yet a funny thing there is that we can tell you down to the day you were impregnated by the growth of the fetus.

Next person. Sir drink this stuff to make you shit your brains out and I’m going to shove my finger in your ass to see if we can get a scope of what your insides are like.

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