Hi,
I am coming here seeking advice. I am 21, studying and am currently doing an internship. But it’s not going well. I am struggling so much with getting disctracted and watching youtube. Even though i often do want to do someting, i often don’t do anything except watch youtube. When i do actually do something it’s often not what i need to do. It’s getting really tiring and i just want to be able to do the shit i want and need to do. I often watch youtube to have some sound, but i can’t turn it off after, it is also often the same with listening to podcasts. Often when i try to improve it only works for about a week and then i fall back into my same habbits. Do many of you struggle with this, and what do you do about it?
I’ve found my ADHD is more difficult to deal with later in life. It is not because my symptoms are worse, it’s more because my responsibilities have grown. More and more of my goals are longer term issues that require constant attention over long periods of time and following through with plans in a timely manner.
I also feel that medication has exacerbated my hyperfocus on things unrelated to my true goals. I get by just dealing with the high stress times that occur when things have been procrastinated long enough to become urgent.
yeah me too, and the big problem is that i pass all my tests so i have no incentive to do it differently
If you pass all your tests, then that’s great! It speaks for a high IQ paired with ADD. ADD is by no means a superpower, it’s still a disability, but you can partially compensate for it with a high IQ. What you lack in perseverance in learning, you probably make up for by learning to use what little knowledge you have effectively to derive solutions or with transfers from other areas. Believe me when I tell you that in many professional fields this can be a useful skill that many lack.
Due to this I am able to work as an IT Automation Engineer, despite not having any kind of degree.
I don’t think that ADHD “gets better” when people grow up. I think that life and circumstances change, and change affects ADHD. But this is a problem with neurodevelopment and brain chemistry, it doesn’t magically go away.
That being said, it sounds to me like you might not be medicated. That’s ok, if that’s your choice, but know that medication is the single most effective treatment for ADHD that exists right now. On its own, it’s not enough, but without it, shit gets real. Dr. Barkley has some great informative videos that really help to explain how ADHD works in our brains, and the role of medication. So. In that regard, I suggest you reach out to your doctor.
Smaller things that might help though, I always find that if I really need to concentrate, or if I really need to get something done, voices distract me (podcasts, videos, anything where someone is talking). So, I will listen to music instead, particularly music without lyrics. Lo-fi works well for this for me, or piano music, or whatever. I just try to keep the lyrics (voices) to a minimum, and it seems to help.
Something else that helps when I really need to focus is a fidget toy in one hand (give your mind monkey a banana) while I read/learn/concentrate. It’s such a small thing, but it helps SO MUCH!
Good luck, hopefully these work for you!
thank you. I will look into dr Barkley and I think the idea of using like a fidget toy is a great idea as I often find myself playing with little pieces of metal or other things when I try to work. and I can also completely find myself in getting distracted by voices. but I often can’t turn them off once I start because it feels nice to constantly have voices around me haha
Something that was suggested to me, by my therapist, is a book called Scattered Minds by Dr. Gabor Máte. It is well researched, and ultimately it provides long term solutions. Getting through a book in your current state, may not be ideal. But you may find an audio book version easier.
For now, you need to do things that will help you now. Firstly, make sure you are doing things you enjoy, and getting time to rest, and relax. If not, you will default to instant gratification. I know, because I am the same. When I am tired, overworked and overwhelmed, my ADHD gets very bad. A week ago, I was in a terrible state. I made so many mistakes at work, I was worried it was going to cause me to lose my job. After this week finished, taking time to recover really helped me.
Also, maybe try doing some exercise. For now, just start small. Maybe limit the time you spend doing the activity, to avoid overdoing it. For any new habit, starting small is very important.
You may also benefit from this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fH7N9YRxMYc
Go for walks, take breaks from your study, when you have time, and just take a walk around your neighbourhood. If you need stimulation, you could listen to music, or a podcast you enjoy. Personally, I sometimes find it very helpful to take myself away from anything that will trigger an instant gratification loop. But ultimately, going cold turkey isn’t the answer.
Right now, don’t focus on huge strides, like not watching YouTube, or not listening to podcasts. Focus on taking time out in small amounts to just be present with yourself, how you feel and just trying to be aware. Honestly, even doing this for 2-3 minutes is really good for you. If you need something to guide you through doing something like this, you could try Medito. It’s a meditation app by a nonprofit. The daily meditations can be done in whatever time period suits. I think the lowest is 3 minutes. But 3 minutes is still a good effort. You need to reward yourself for every small win. Going for a new habit that is monumental, and will only discourage you, and take away what motivation you have.
I can suggest more, but I am hesitant to do so, because too many things at once, when you’re already struggling might overwhelm you. I hope you get something from my suggestions, and that you feel better soon. I know how hard and difficult it can be sometimes. You can do this. : )
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://www.piped.video/watch?v=fH7N9YRxMYc
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
You sound over worked. Try:
- isolating yourself in a library with no internet (turn your phone off)
- do this for an hour or two
- then go on a walk or go get lunch. Something fun and easy but not technology related
And finally (this is the most important step) observe how you naturally react to this pattern and adjust accordingly. You have to learn to outsmart yourself which is the hardest thing you’ll ever do
isolating yourself in a library with no internet (turn your phone off)
Have you ever stared at a wall instead of your work for an hour?
Yes. My mom’s old partner would put us in the corner as a form of punishment for hours on end.
That said if you think I’m suggesting OP stares at a wall then you’re missing the point. Obviously the hope is that they would A) do their hw or B) read a book. Boredom is a powerful motivator
Edit: I realize you might have meant this in the opposite direction I initially interpreted it. If that’s the case then the key thing is that I originally suggested they observe how they naturally engage with the loop and adjust accordingly. No two people are the same. So any advice I give will need to be adjusted to OP’s unique way of living and thinking
No, what they’re saying is that that’s something that just happens sometimes with people with adhd. Not intentionally, sometimes even while we internally scream to stop. It’s basically a complete breakdown of executive functioning
I used to go to the library a lot to force more focus with less distractions. I never reached the level of productivity I aimed for, no matter how hard I tried. Sitting still and focusing for an hour straight? Might as well ask me to solve world peace.
the problem is that i do almost nothing in a day so i don’t understand how i could be overworked
Life isn’t about “doing things” or being “productive.” But about learning yourself and coming to terms with who you are. If you can do that then you’ll be better equipped to navigate the unique challenges of your mind
Sometimes the stress of responsibility is enough to cause executive fatigue and make you want to isolate into addicting habits. The important thing to try here is to try something small and reward yourself for it. While also putting in measures to prevent yourself from easily slipping back into those distracting habits (and I mean real physical measures not fake mental promises and dreams about being better)
But it depresses me that I feel too overwhelmed by just the basic requirements of life to really focus on things I actually care about. I want to develop my hobbies deeper and learn new skills, not just manage to tread water forever, and I’m not even really even doing that. I do a decent job at work but my home is often a disaster. Keeping myself interested in any one hobby is a barrier too but not as a big as the pitifully low limit to my capacity to do things…
I second the seclusion idea. We cannot be trusted with distractions. Remove them and you won’t have to resist or use will power. Speaking of will power, we don’t have as much as others. I’ve found routines are my lifeline. Each task or step has to complete near the beginning of the next one. The closer the better, so there is as little time for a distraction to interfere with the flow. One last thing, it doesn’t get better or worse. You ability to cope gets better or worse. We have ADHD, you don’t grow out of it any more than a person with a missing hand (an an extreme example) grows out of it. They work around it. They can’t use both hands, because they don’t have two hands. We have our personal ADHD symptoms that won’t go away. Our only way forward is to identify them, accept them, and then work on ways to mitigate them. You wouldn’t fault a one handed man for not being able to clap like everyone else, so don’t beet yourself up over your “failings”. Help yourself of tomorrow by finding how to cope with your symptoms today.
YMMV, but seclusion doesn’t seem to work for me… I can’t be trusted with distractions, but it seems I can’t be trusted not to seek the situations where I’m exposed to said distractions either. Taking the aforementioned example of going to the library and closing my phone, I’d probably leave early after convincing myself I could do the same from home, or pull my phone out of my bag and boot it up later “just to check something”, and bam, back to square one.
Routines are absolutely key, though.
There’s a theory that it doesn’t get better with age for anyone but many learn coping and masking mechanisms.
But yeah unfortunately what you’re describing is not rare. What you’re describing sounds an awful lot like you might be burning yourself out by the end of the day using all of your energy focusing on school and your internship.
If you aren’t medicated that would likely be the first place to start. I know everyone hates hearing diet and exercise, and they absolutely aren’t the cure some claim, but for myself at least they are a vital component of a holistic treatment. I need a combination of stimulant medication, healthy diet, regular exercise, sufficient social interaction, decent sleep, consistent habits, and the proper rest in order to be my best. Some of these can be trimmed with minor losses, but meds are bare minimum to function, and diet, exercise, and socialization are the difference between “can work then break down at home” and “actually function in my home life”.
I know it can be daunting and I just flat out couldn’t do it at times in college. My senior design project wasn’t going to sit around for me to go on a bike ride. But when my brain got fuzzy walked a lap around campus. Put on a podcast and move your body. And most importantly this isn’t all or nothing, this is every bit helps, and you can use that help to get another bit. Healthier food (like peanut butter on whole wheat for lunch instead of take out or ramen) may give you the energy to take a walk. Regular walks might give you the energy to go out with friends for an evening. These are habits and it took me most of my 20s to figure out and implement this.
