Hi,
I am coming here seeking advice. I am 21, studying and am currently doing an internship. But it’s not going well. I am struggling so much with getting disctracted and watching youtube. Even though i often do want to do someting, i often don’t do anything except watch youtube. When i do actually do something it’s often not what i need to do. It’s getting really tiring and i just want to be able to do the shit i want and need to do. I often watch youtube to have some sound, but i can’t turn it off after, it is also often the same with listening to podcasts. Often when i try to improve it only works for about a week and then i fall back into my same habbits. Do many of you struggle with this, and what do you do about it?
You’re probably addicted to YouTube. It’s easy dopamine. ADHD brains seem to crave it. Sounds like you need treatment if the medicine isn’t cutting it. I find physical activity helps me the most. I get addicted to that too but at least I’m not on YouTube all day (I’ll save it for downtime at night as a reward).
You sound over worked. Try:
- isolating yourself in a library with no internet (turn your phone off)
- do this for an hour or two
- then go on a walk or go get lunch. Something fun and easy but not technology related
And finally (this is the most important step) observe how you naturally react to this pattern and adjust accordingly. You have to learn to outsmart yourself which is the hardest thing you’ll ever do
isolating yourself in a library with no internet (turn your phone off)
Have you ever stared at a wall instead of your work for an hour?
Yes. My mom’s old partner would put us in the corner as a form of punishment for hours on end.
That said if you think I’m suggesting OP stares at a wall then you’re missing the point. Obviously the hope is that they would A) do their hw or B) read a book. Boredom is a powerful motivator
Edit: I realize you might have meant this in the opposite direction I initially interpreted it. If that’s the case then the key thing is that I originally suggested they observe how they naturally engage with the loop and adjust accordingly. No two people are the same. So any advice I give will need to be adjusted to OP’s unique way of living and thinking
I used to go to the library a lot to force more focus with less distractions. I never reached the level of productivity I aimed for, no matter how hard I tried. Sitting still and focusing for an hour straight? Might as well ask me to solve world peace.
No, what they’re saying is that that’s something that just happens sometimes with people with adhd. Not intentionally, sometimes even while we internally scream to stop. It’s basically a complete breakdown of executive functioning
the problem is that i do almost nothing in a day so i don’t understand how i could be overworked
Life isn’t about “doing things” or being “productive.” But about learning yourself and coming to terms with who you are. If you can do that then you’ll be better equipped to navigate the unique challenges of your mind
Sometimes the stress of responsibility is enough to cause executive fatigue and make you want to isolate into addicting habits. The important thing to try here is to try something small and reward yourself for it. While also putting in measures to prevent yourself from easily slipping back into those distracting habits (and I mean real physical measures not fake mental promises and dreams about being better)
But it depresses me that I feel too overwhelmed by just the basic requirements of life to really focus on things I actually care about. I want to develop my hobbies deeper and learn new skills, not just manage to tread water forever, and I’m not even really even doing that. I do a decent job at work but my home is often a disaster. Keeping myself interested in any one hobby is a barrier too but not as a big as the pitifully low limit to my capacity to do things…
I second the seclusion idea. We cannot be trusted with distractions. Remove them and you won’t have to resist or use will power. Speaking of will power, we don’t have as much as others. I’ve found routines are my lifeline. Each task or step has to complete near the beginning of the next one. The closer the better, so there is as little time for a distraction to interfere with the flow. One last thing, it doesn’t get better or worse. You ability to cope gets better or worse. We have ADHD, you don’t grow out of it any more than a person with a missing hand (an an extreme example) grows out of it. They work around it. They can’t use both hands, because they don’t have two hands. We have our personal ADHD symptoms that won’t go away. Our only way forward is to identify them, accept them, and then work on ways to mitigate them. You wouldn’t fault a one handed man for not being able to clap like everyone else, so don’t beet yourself up over your “failings”. Help yourself of tomorrow by finding how to cope with your symptoms today.
YMMV, but seclusion doesn’t seem to work for me… I can’t be trusted with distractions, but it seems I can’t be trusted not to seek the situations where I’m exposed to said distractions either. Taking the aforementioned example of going to the library and closing my phone, I’d probably leave early after convincing myself I could do the same from home, or pull my phone out of my bag and boot it up later “just to check something”, and bam, back to square one.
Routines are absolutely key, though.
At university, I medicated heavily with “the hard stuff” - stimulant medications. These took a heavy toll on my body; I had nervous tics and twitches galore. The meds gave me enough focus to develop good study habits and after 2-3 years I ceased them.
Once I joined the workforce, I focused on doing things that I was passionate about. For me, ADHD doesn’t always mean lack of focus; I can hyper focus when I’m motivated by something. Having a job that I liked to do turned me into a low grade workaholic (too much hyper focus!) but I became successful in my career.
For the past few years, I’ve been medicating with a non stimulant that I tolerate very well. I still do what I love, at work, and Strattera helps me stay focused on doing the things that are most important to my employer and myself, but my days of being a workaholic are over.
If you are like me, then doing what you love is essential, and finding the right medication is a big help, though not strictly essential.
You should not jump to any conclusions, procrastination does not directly mean that you have ADHD or ADD. The diagnosis should be made professionally through tests by a psychotherapist.
If you are diagnosed with ADD you will need a very individual treatment. This usually consists of behavioural therapy that should be supported by medication. With the help of medication you build up routines (like brushing your teeth, which you have probably already established and do not forget, despite ADD) that ADD does not prevent you from doing because they have become a habit. This is very individual and has to be repeated every now and then when life circumstances change.
In addition, depth psychological treatment is useful to deal with depth psychological problems that may have arisen due to the untreated and undiagnosed ADD (depression, anxiety disorder, eating disorders, etc.).
And even then, ADD may prevent you from doing certain things. For me, for example, studying just didn’t work out, that’s something you can accept and be OK with. Someone with an IQ of 80 can’t study, just like a wheelchair user can’t run a marathon, no matter how much they want to. So it may also be that ADD means that studying doesn’t work for you either. This is not meant to sound demotivating but sometimes it is better to focus on your strengths instead of trying to compensate for your weaknesses.
And to answer your question: You never grow out of ADD. It is a congenital predisposition that can occur in various degrees of severity. To be precise, it is an adaptation disorder that makes it difficult for you to adapt to new life circumstances because it affects your sense of time, your perception of time, your reward centre and your ability to filter and prioritise external impressions.
I agree that a professional diagnostic is important in order to confirm that one has ADD/ADHD and that - amongst other things - one should avoid to self medicate.
Otoh it can also be quite a hard diagnostic to get depending on your age, gender, and which symptoms you get. A lot of people fall through the cracks and struggle to get an official medical diagnosis and we shouldn’t completely invalidate patient knowledge of themselves.
There’s a theory that it doesn’t get better with age for anyone but many learn coping and masking mechanisms.
But yeah unfortunately what you’re describing is not rare. What you’re describing sounds an awful lot like you might be burning yourself out by the end of the day using all of your energy focusing on school and your internship.
If you aren’t medicated that would likely be the first place to start. I know everyone hates hearing diet and exercise, and they absolutely aren’t the cure some claim, but for myself at least they are a vital component of a holistic treatment. I need a combination of stimulant medication, healthy diet, regular exercise, sufficient social interaction, decent sleep, consistent habits, and the proper rest in order to be my best. Some of these can be trimmed with minor losses, but meds are bare minimum to function, and diet, exercise, and socialization are the difference between “can work then break down at home” and “actually function in my home life”.
I know it can be daunting and I just flat out couldn’t do it at times in college. My senior design project wasn’t going to sit around for me to go on a bike ride. But when my brain got fuzzy walked a lap around campus. Put on a podcast and move your body. And most importantly this isn’t all or nothing, this is every bit helps, and you can use that help to get another bit. Healthier food (like peanut butter on whole wheat for lunch instead of take out or ramen) may give you the energy to take a walk. Regular walks might give you the energy to go out with friends for an evening. These are habits and it took me most of my 20s to figure out and implement this.
