I always feel called out by content like this, but it’s so true.
Yup. Also applies if you’re diagnosed but having to rawdog all of it because your body can’t tolerate either ADHD meds or antidepressants. So you’re stuck trying to kludge together solutions with behavioral, cognitive and lifestyle changes and it’s like trying to build a sand castle with powdered sugar. Maybe you can make something stick together a bit, but one big sneeze and it’s all gone.
What’ve been the most helpful changes you’ve made? I know it all depends on the person, but I’m interested.
My phone has been a lifesaver for remembering things. I grew up in the days of paper planners, so it’s a real treat to be able to set up reminders etc. Prior to that I used lists and post-it notes. Post-it notes are tricky because if you use them a lot they become part of the scenery, so getting an assortment and changing to a different color note helped me to notice them.
For developing habits, instead of “do it for 30 days and it’ll stick” (lmao) I try to shoot for progressively more consistency over time. So when getting back in the habit of flossing, every day was overwhelming but I could do once per week which was better than nothing. Then every other day. Now I do it daily. Does this work with everything? No but when it works it works. In other words don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Some > none.
Mindfulness is not a cure-all but it is a good building block. I practiced just being present and noticing my thoughts. Noticing thoughts allowed me to start observing my train of thought to see where exactly it derails and keeps me from getting things done. If I can figure out where I’m getting distracted I can create workarounds for those. Sometimes I have to literally make a diagram of the thought pattern, like a flowchart, to see what’s happening.
I also made a list of my main goals in life including the pedestrian ones like eating healthier and doing creative things, and posted a thing on my fridge to help remember to do something towards those goals every day that I feel up to it. That cuts down on the amount of time I spend in neutral gear wondering what to do with my time. If I don’t know wtf else to do then at least I can do something small that will advance a life goal.
The last thing I’ll say is give yourself some grace. Nobody has their shit together. Some people just fake it better. Reward yourself whenever you make progress and go out of your way to point out to yourself when you accomplished something or successfully used a cognitive tool. That voice in your head that says you’re dumb and can’t do anything? It’s a jerk, don’t listen to it. Go out of your way to rub your successes in its face.
That’s all I got, hope it helped.
People don’t understand that beating yourself up is still a shot of dopamine. Drama, including drama limited to your head… It’s still dopamine.
Depression, sure, but the constant negatives that come with adhd is still a steady dopamine IV drip.
I havent been diagnosed but im sure i have it. Getting a diagnosis is a pain in the ass in austin. That being said i think i have gotten better at recognizing when i am in an abnormal state like depression. My mind starts getting cloudy or darker and feel it get heavier. If that makes any sense
I went to my primary care doctor about it, and I matched every attention/stress criteria on their sheet, but I dodn’t have anger issues so they said I didn’t have ADHD. Yet every time I see a post like this it matches exactly. It’s weird to say I think I have ADHD when a doctor has told me I don’t have it… But I still think I have it, it just matches too well.
So I guess welcome to the undiagnosed gang, good to have you
Ugh haha! That’s annoying, can relate. I got disqualified by my psychiatrist because I can work independently 😂 Fuck haha. HOW stupid is that?
I got pissed, immediately drove to the clinic where I got my referral, got a doctor, and told him I wanted another referral for a second opinion, told him the psychiatrist’s opinion didn’t make sense to me. He told me it’s subjective, and said I could do a self assement. I haven’t done it yet haha, but I’d recommend pushing the subject.
And building yourself back out of depression once treatment starts isn’t an overnight thing
I was diagnosed like 3 months ago at 29
It’s a night and day difference but it’s still a bit rough at times
But I’m working on it and now that I’m able to stay focused on a task it’s easier than before, but it’s not easy
If you don’t mind me asking, as a stranger, did you start meds? My partner was recently diagnosed at 28, and started meds, but I’m not sure how well they’re working.
I did start meds but I’ve noticed that the key factor in how well they work is how I spend the first hour of my day.
If I open YouTube or social media the day is a wash.
If I start the day making breakfast listening to music with the idea of doing things that day, it goes great.
One thing that really helps me go with the second option is having a tab already open from the day before that has a playlist I can just start. And it’s the only one open.
I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD so my experience may be different than someone diagnosed with Hyperactive ADHD.
Also be sure that they’re doing more than just meds, education about various ways of managing ADHD in conjunction with meds will lead to far better outcomes than those things separately.
Or maybe the meds don’t work for them and they need to try something different. One of my friends tried 3 different meds before they landed on one that worked.
