Hiya girlies!
Today I’d love for us to share the little tips and tricks that you’re proud of, things that help you feel like the best version of you! It could be about anything, makeup, hair, hair removal, voice, mannerisms, diet, exercise, fashion, whatever you learned that had a positive impact on your life that could help another girlie learning who she wants to be!
Something I’ve been particularly enjoying recently is finding ladies I particularly admire in media and copying the things they say, trying to match their intonation and expression. I know it’s not an original idea but it can be super fun and very satisfying when you get it right! :3
Most of us tend to be top-heavy rather than bottom-heavy, so look for nice outfits that create curvature to counter that. For example dresses with sashes, coats that widen at the bottom, corsetry, etc. you generally want to avoid anything that straightens your silhouette. The aim is to give the illusion of fuller hips and a narrower waist.
But also remind yourself that most women (cis or trans) are not the pristine, soft-spoken, glammed up doll-like beauties the media likes to pretend we are! Women can be loud, women can be butch, women can be muscular (👀 be still my gay heart). Try not to be too hard on yourself.
(I’ve been trans for 10 years, ask me about anything!)
Lately, it’s been keeping my daily skincare routine and perfecting my haircare routine. Having soft, smooth hair is my favorite and is worth the effort. I’ve also been experimenting a lot of with outfits and styles that I normally shy away from, as well as embracing my own femininity in a much more confident, less shy way than I’m used to. You can tell that people treat you noticeably differently when you’re overtly feminine, and I normally don’t pass, but I feel like I have been more often since making these changes.
With skincare to actually get started I just picked out a day and night moisturizer that had decent reviews and wasn’t too heavy as my skin is more oily than dry normally, as well as Neutrogena’s ultra gentle face cleanser. I’ve since added a brightening serum that I use every day and have been eyeing an eye serum specifically to help with my dark eye bags.
Every morning, I cleanse off all my night product, and then apply my brightening serum and then my day time moisturizer that’s spf15. Then, at night, I cleanse off my daytime product before bed, getting all the dirt and oils off my face. Then I apply my brightening serum again and apply my night time moisturizer.
Improving my hair care routine came down to getting satin pillowcases cause they’re pretty cheap if you can find a local store that has them, and my hair is bad for tangling overnight. I also got a bond protector that has significantly reduced the damage I get when blow drying my hair, which I do every time I wash it. I also have a tub of coconut oil based hair product that I use a little bit of on the day after i wash it. My hair has grown a lot since I started doing that.
Every time I wash it I use my Tresemmé keratin smooth shampoo to get the coconut oil and other oils out of my hair. Then I use the keratin smooth conditioner and really work it into my roots before spreading it over my full length hair. It’s important to run your fingers in between the strands to make sure the conditioner gets the root area, at least it is for me as my roots get dry. I leave it in for a couple minutes while I finish up showering and then rinse it out. Once I’m out, I gently dry my hair with a massive old band t-shirt from my pre-transition era, and then apply a conservative amount of Olaplex No. 9 bond protector working it from my ends all the way up to my roots. Then I blow dry it first on low heat then on high heat, and get it brushed out and parted with my point comb.
With hair and skin care, experimentation is important to getting things exactly as you like them. Drug stores these days carry a range of products, both cheap and expensive, I started with cheap ones while I sorted out what my skin needs. A tip that’s helped me a lot is getting a small bottle of Clean and Clear 5% benzoyl peroxide acne treatment. If I see any white heads starting on my face during my morning or evening routine, I apply some of that after putting on my moisturizer. Makes a huge difference in preventing acne from fully developing, at least for me anyway. I only apply it once a day until it’s mostly gone and then stop, as it does dry out my skin a fair bit.
Edit: Added some actual tips, lol
have been eyeing an eye serum specifically to help with my dark eye bags
I’m a cis lady, so please let me know if I’m not supposed to post here, but I just wanted to share - I recently started using the Glow Recipe eye brightening cream and I’m honestly blown away. I’ve always doubted the efficacy of creams that can lessen dark undereyes but holy crap, this stuff is good!
I’m curious about the acne treatment. My instinct has always been moisturize last.
I think the concern really is that you don’t want your skin to dry up in the area where you’re applying the acne treatment. It will depend on your skin type and whether your skin tends towards oily or dry, but in my case if I put my moisturizer on top then there’s already a significant barrier to my pores in the form of the acne treatment, kinda blocking it from fully moisturizing my skin in that area. Whereas, when I apply the acne treatment on top, the benzoyl peroxide is still effective at breaking down the acne causing bacteria without drying out your skin as much? I can only apply it once a day. If I do it twice, my skin dries out. For the occasional white heads I get, putting it on last has been quite effective.
If you have curly hair, follow the curly girl method!!! My hair went from a mess to being my most feminine features that makes others jealous.
Also, another hair tip, for facial hair this time. Try out safety razors. Shaving with a safety razor gets the closest shave and is dirt cheap.
To shave, partially fill the sink with some hot water (as hot as you can manage (without scalding yourself obviously)), then wet your face with it. Exfoliate (using shaving soap is a great way to do this, since the brush doubles as an applicator and exfoliator). Then shave with the grain. Against will get a closer shave, but at the cost of bumps and razor burn. After some practice you can shave in just a couple of minutes with minimal artifacts.
It helps to have a razor with several aggression/closeness settings (e.g. Rockwell 2C or 6S) and switch to milder for across the grain. Or have separate razors for the first and the last pass (like Merkur 34C for start and Henson AL13 for finish).
With a good blade and a very mild razor it might take more passes across the grain but the upside is no nicks and most of the time no bumps.
As always, your mileage may vary because a lot of things influence shaving and it gets pretty individual ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is a decent introduction, but I’ll summarize the basics.
First, you want to avoid shampoo and conditioner with sulphates and silicone. These chemically relax your hair and build up over time. They work great for people with straight hair (i.e. the majority of the white population that beauty companies target), but not for people with curly or wavy hair. My products of choice for this are Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Curl and Shine Shampoo, as well as the Conditioner of the same range.
Once you have these, you want to cleanse your hair of any built up silicone. This will take quite a while (took a few months for me), because the other main thing to remember is that you should only really be washing your hair once a week. Most people with curly/wavy hair just don’t need to wash it as often as straight haired people. You should also only be brushing your hair while it is wet in the shower.
Then there is technique, which I’ve found isn’t as important but does help. When you dry your hair, you’re supposed to do a thing called “plopping”. You put a towel on a flat surface, plop your hair onto it, and then tie it up into a headwrap thing.
Finally, the rest of curly girl is just experience. You will get to know your hair and how much conditioner and care it needs. It takes a while but is very rewarding!
For hair removal, I proselytize for sugar wax. You never see ads for it or beauty influencers talk about it because it won’t make anyone any money; can make it and do it yourself for super cheap. It’s basically a mix of melted sugar and lemon juice that’s cooked into a sticky viscous candy you can use to rip your body hair out. Initial set up costs are under $50 (for a wax warmer, spatulas and reusable cotton muslin strips) and maybe a dollar per session in materials afterwards, if that. All it costs is time. You can use it just like a traditional depilatory wax, but because it’s made of sugar it’s water soluble and relatively easy to clean up. It’s also gentle enough that it’s fine to go over the same spot again if you miss some hairs. After several years of waxing every three months or so my hair finally thinned out to where I’m not so self conscious of showing unshaven legs sometimes. I’m cis but I’m hairy so I’ve experimented with a lot of hair removal methods. Sugar wax is an amazing value for its results, and the best solution for broke ass ladies like myself to thin the fur.
transfem tips 🥺 🥺 🥺
