In theaters December 15th 2023
For real, who seriously had the thought “you know what, we need another adaptation of that one book from decades ago. We could try adapting some of that guy’s other work, but why bother? I know we tried the goofy, fun spin and the dark, gritty spin, but I’m sure we missed an angle on that one kid’s book.”
More importantly how did the guy who had that thought not get kicked out of the pitch meeting immediately?
Wait, what book is this an adaptation of? This isn’t from either Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or The Great Glass Elevator as far as I’m aware.
I don’t disagree but
We could try adapting some of that guy’s other work, but why bother?
In recent memory Matilda, The Witches , and The BFG have all had unnecessary reboots. I’ll bet a James and the Giant Peach is next.
If anything, it’s time to leave his material alone now. there are enough new children’s books and stories written all the time, surely they deserve a shot?
not get kicked out of the pitch meeting immediately?
Rehashing old successful movies is tight.
Wow wow wow.
So you’ve got a new movie for me?
Yes sir, I do. But I thought this time we’d do an old movie instead of a new movie because old movies usually make more money.
Oh, remaking old movies for money is tight. It’s also literally the only thing we do here.
That’s right. So I think we should really go back this time and pull out something the audience wants to see. Something with tons of nostalgia for adults, but also something the younger audience will care a lot about.
I don’t think we have the money to remake Star Wars again so soon.
Nah, I thought we’d just do another Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
What?
Jesus can we ever get anything new? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory already got a fucking reboot two decades ago. We don’t need a third one
Almost. It was 2005. And it was a good movie too, imo. Doesn’t need fixing like the original did.
I’m hoping for a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie universe, purely for the inevitable, gritty spin-off, OOMPA
“Call me Oompa Loompa one more time, motherfucker, I DARE YOU…”
I think if they were to make a Oompa-Loompa spinoff it’d end up being like the Minions, yet even more annoying somehow
Another entry in “films no one, absolutely no one, asked for”. Warner Bros just keeps tripping over itself. And up against the Chicken Run sequel for the same weekend.
Streaming releases are still competition. Pay out the wazoo on tickets/drinks/snacks to go to the theater VS a home premier as part of an ongoing subscription, bits from your own pantry, and readily paused for bathroom breaks or otherwise. Loads of people avoid the theater since the movie will show up on X service in a few weeks. Wild times.
* Ears perk up *
A Chicken Run sequel, you say? Well, I know what I’m doing this December!
I don’t know man…
Another totally unnecessary movie about old characters. The good thing is that expectation are so low about it than almost anything can be good