I always love these bits about humans being garbage animals that just walks our prey to death like a bunch of assholes.
Here’s another one: humans are some of the only animals (even among primates) that can throw things, not just toss things around.
In other words, humans are cowardly pokers who aren’t even willing to take on DPS enemies with honor
And in a game where ranged attacks are practically non-existent, save for a few ones able to spit venom or water under highly specific circumstances, the ability to just throw a rock and damage you while being out of harm’s way makes the Homo Sapiens play literally a different game.
The Neolithic Era is a totally balanced game with no exploits
Ah, welcome back to another video where today we’re diving into the most ambitious open-world game ever created, the real world, featuring the starting species Homo sapiens. Now, developers really outdid themselves with this one, creating a game that’s perfectly balanced with no exploits whatsoever… or so they thought. You see, Homo sapiens, these peculiar little characters, have stumbled upon an absolutely game-breaking exploit: endurance running. Unlike their in-game counterparts, these lads can run super large distances, outpacing virtually any prey in the long run, literally.
Now, you might be wondering, “How does this translate into an exploit?” Well, sit back as I demonstrate the sheer unbalanced nature of this ability. Our Homo sapiens ancestors used this stamina hack to hunt down creatures that, by all accounts, should have easily outmatched them. But no, through sheer persistence and a bit of clever thinking, they turned their sweaty long-distance jogs into the most effective hunting strategy, revolutionizing the food chain and leveling up humanity.
But here’s the twist in the tale, the crème de la crème of human ingenuity. What becomes of this unprecedented endurance exploit? Ah, it leads to the cultural revolution that is the invention of Yorkshire Tea. That’s the real endgame here. Our Homo sapiens didn’t just use their marathon prowess for survival; oh no, they transcended. With all the excess resources and leisure time afforded by their unparalleled hunting strategy, they brewed up civilizations, refined cultures, and yes, perfected the art of tea-making. So, in a world that’s perfectly balanced with no exploits whatsoever, it’s the human spirit of persistence and a penchant for long runs that gave us the ultimate exploit: the creation of Yorkshire Tea. A true testament to how a simple exploit can lead to the pinnacle of culinary excellence and cultural sophistication.
(disclaimer: wrote it, but used GPT4 to tweak the style to fit spiff a bit more)
We learned nothing from the infinite mammoth meat hack when the devs banned the whole fucking species.
humanity basically started by gaming the system. maybe it’s just our nature to lie and cheat and worm our way into position and out of consequence. maybe corruption is just what we’re best at.
I think any creature evolved through competition and natural selection will end up this way.
Lying, killing, stealing, loving, building community, etc. are advantageous to survival at different times and in different situations. Seems the best survival tactic for us was to just keep improving and blending these.
We are at the point in our development where a lot of them don’t fit as well anymore. But they won’t go anywhere unless they impact mating success or stop being passed down for genetic reason.
weights as much as a deer
same diet as a rat and a pig combined
biped like an emu
hairless like an elephant
otter-like obsession with bashing rocks
looks like a baby-faced chimp or gorilla, even when adult
OP intelligence and endurance stats
This shit is a fake! NO, THERE’S NO HUMAN TO CATCH UNDER THE TRUCK! And no, you won’t become a human with a cat face and bunny body!
I heard the devs are planning a major nerf with the upcoming climate disaster patch by lowering the population and cooperation stats way down.
