I think part of my hopelessness is that I am realizing hrt has not done anything to my face, I figured this out since I am still pretty recognizable. the only thing hrt has done for me is give me boobs, which usually results in hey dead name, you should loose some weight when i am recognized in public. I just feel hopeless and I want this nightmare to end.
I think you need to come out to those people. It’s scary, and in the immediate-term very bad, but after that… you get recognition. Not being recognized as yourself suuuuucks.
facial feminization surgery can be very effective but it costs money (like many quality of life things)
I have some experience in this area. Here is my advice. Get laser for any facial hair. Learn how to do makeup(esp if you are worried about jawline, etc) and dress for your body. Practice yoga and mindfulness. Find a supportive female/trans friend to help you grow and give you criticism on your look.
Are you out to these people? I don’t know how long you’ve been on HRT, or at what age you started, but if you’ve been on HRT a bit there have to have been some changes.
It can be hard for people to notice differences, unless you point them out, and if you’re boymoding then people (not to be too assumptive, but I’m guessing your male friends?) probably won’t pick up on any feminine energy you’re radiating ;).
As for their comments about your weight, I’m so sorry that you have to hear that because it can be so discouraging during tough points in your life. That said, keeping with the assumption thess friends are men, keep in mind that a lot of male socialization revolves around the concept of the “burn,” and they might not be intending to be as hurtful as they are.
Taking my experiences coming out as bisexual (and trans, to some people) into consideration, I believe that people can’t surprise you unless you give them a chance. Some will be as you expected, but you will always be surprised.
I hope your experience gets better soon, much love <3
