LamerGamer
IMO läuft hier alles korrekt. Prüf doch mal ob dein Arbeitgeber so ne “Lohnaufrechnung” machen darf, das sollte irgendwo stehen. Falls die das nicht dürfen, kannst du auf den vollen Lohn beharren und musst das dann selbst zurückzahlen. Ich würde aber darauf setzen, dass die das dürfen. Ist ja auch fair.
Falls die das dürfen ist alles korrekt so. Die haben aus Versehen zu viel bezahlt, jemand hats gemerkt (hier halt durch dich). Wenn du das merkst und nichts meldest, dann machst du dich strafbar. Übrigens, früher oder später fällt sowas immer auf und glaube mir, früher ist besser als später.
Andere Option ist volle Auszahlung und dann Rückzahlung durch dich. Falls du momentan mit nur 50% Lohn im November nicht durch kommst, melde dich doch beim Personalmanagement. Vielleicht geht das auch über mehrere Monate mit 80% oder einer Rückzahlung in Raten.
Yeah, I don’t think she’d accept that fact from me. It would probably sound more like self promotiom than actual advice. Sadly she’s really not into counceling or therapy, no matter if professional or not.
About my habits. I actually do have a hamper, jusr not in room. I usually change clothes in the bathroom but sometimes you just get lazy. I mean I pick stuff from the floor at least once a day before I vacuum anyway. To me it’s really not a big deal. Sure, tidier is tidier, and I’d love to work on that. But IMO it’s not that bad (idk that statement makes it sound bad somehow).
I did actually start a series of examinations to get possible diagnoses for underlying problems in myself, especially because my girlfriend mentioned some things like half a year ago. But ever since she hasn’t been happy about me “going to therapy” for stuff like that. Apparently in her mind thats not a good approach or whatever
At this point I’m really not too sure wether I should stick around much longer, but I guess intuition will play some role in that.
Not a direct statement she ever made, but she definitely mentioned she prefers being the one to say it. So I don’t think she’s actively trying to make me jump ship. I just think she grew up reading fairy tales and somehow doesn’t wanna stop believing in “true love” or soulmates or whatever brings the point across.
True but my hopes aren’t that high. From what I understood she’s been like that in previous relationships.The odds that this would subside by itself just like that are probably not too high. Like I mentioned somewhere, she’s also not very available for therapy or counceling.
Still, I’ll see what I can and want to do.
Honestly, I don’t even think she’s so happy to talk about her problems with me. Like I mentioned, she doesn’t really tell me when something disturbs her. She just finally opened up about it because I’ve been asking how she is and if she’s still feeling down of whatever happened in her family. Still, I’m happy she told me, even if it turns out to be a problem with no solution.
I don’t think showing her my passion to be with her will be the go to strategy for me. I’m not too good for it, I just don’t think it would be healthy for myself. As it stands, I don’t see a future if she can’t take a compromise. Sure, I still love her. But love is not always rational and I’m not sure how long I could stay in love with someone who doesn’t put the work into the relationship that I do (or think I do).
Recently, two quite serious things happened in her family, so I’ve been thinking about the impact that could have. However, she’s never been good at describing her problems with me, or tbh with anything. She never seems happy with pretty much anything, always tells me how upset something made her (external events without my involvement). I don’t really see it based on her descriptions, but I assumed she just either wanted to get rid of it by ranting or she’s very sensitive to such disturbances. I did talk to a friend of hers one time, and she did ask me if I also get that feeling, so I’m not alone on that. My girlfriend also talks a lot in “signals” and usually I’m not the only one to struggle understanding them. So, for all you know, I might be picking everything up super wrong.
To be more specific about her past relationship problems, she mentioned she usually broke up with them because they just didn’t “fit” well. While everyone so far had small discrepancies like we have, it was mostly for the big stuff. For example, she didn’t think she could have kids with them (without conversation), or she thought they’re too into work (no more specifics on that one). And upon talking about, she did mention we don’t have such big discrepancies so far. I did ask if she felt like we should break up anytime soon, but she said no she wants to stay, since I only have small “problems” (obv not her direct words). Her concern is more about the future. About moving in with me, for example. Based on her financial and familiar situation, this won’t happen anytime soon, though. So, the situation is fine for now, she quite literally stated. It’s really a long term thing from what I understand.
Essentially, I don’t believe she wants out right now. It felt more like a warning that she probably won’t be able to eternally stay with me due to what I said before. At this point, it’s kind of my decision, I feel like. Invest in a relationship that might not be what I want in a couple of years, or break up relatively soon.
Of course it’s hard to be objective here. I might be talking out of my ass,
