Still haven’t gotten total body fat redistribution. Impatient for it to finish already. All of my pants are getting too big for me, so good sign I guess.
Kinda hasn’t been going. There’s not really much I can do given my current situation, so I’m mostly just waiting for college (which is in 2 years).
There is some stuff that I “can” be doing, like voice training, but I just don’t have the energy or willpower to do so. I’m trying my best, and recently my best has just been getting out of bed in the morning.
Overall, has been going pretty terribly. But I have hope that it’ll get better in the future when my situation isn’t so sucky.
Edit: Oh yeah I did get a therapist. They are basically everything I could ever ask for. Trans (nonbinary), ADHD, Autism (SELF DIAGNOSED which is huge), and just in general I really click with them. I don’t think I could’ve gotten any better.
Amazing. Especially the social part. Like, I finally just get it and how I feel like I want to communicate just fits right in. With guys it just felt kind of stunted somehow and I could never live up to their social expectations.
For example as kids the guys would ask me what football team I was for. Ajax, pvc or feijnoord (I am sure I have the spelling wrong). Well, I didn’t care, but I showed some interest. I remember seeing the logos and just thinking about their visual style, color combinations and so on. But they were all so pretty in their own right, so I couldn’t choose in the end because they were all pretty.
It’s like trying to connect two cogwheels but they just don’t line up right.
And as an adult this created so many issues. I absolutely adore going to the market and striking up conversations. Of course guys do that too, but somehow it just didn’t work? Like I don’t know, it was as if they felt I wanted something from them and they were confused. So I couldn’t really explore it, even though I knew it made me happy.
And now it’s so simple. I’m constantly making good contacts, especially with women. And the connection with kids is off the charts and finally it’s just simple and straightforward.
Like it was as if before I had to hold back all the time. It felt terrible.
Now the long journey of detangling and unknotting my emotions starts. It’s causing me to dissociate and go numb, and it’s hard to focus on them with all the stress in my life.
Yup. There’s definitely a lot more inherent trust strangers have for you when perceived as a woman.
That and also that quite frankly our society has serious issues with homophobia.
So what IF a guy smiles at another guy and is just being friendly and wants to have a nice chat? Like it’s immediately seen as a sexual advance! Omg if you’d just punch the guy out of the blue he’d be less upset.
Not to forget to mention that this sort of culture also gets in the way of men simply talking with women in a respectful manner, giving her a chance to safely get to know him, and as a result getting a more fulfilling love life 🤦🏻♀️
Didn’t think I had any more egg left to crack, but I’m feeling very called out here! Generally unable to keep up with guy-talk, but get on really well with women and children. And you say transitioning gets you more of this? Bring it on!
🤠 “Yah so I used to run iron mans and one time I punched someone while swimming. Omg at the finish line I totally had to keep going otherwise we’d definitely have gotten into a fight!”
😐 “…”
🤠 “I’m a survivor I once ate a duck because I was too proud to take the food from my friends”
😐 “…”
🤠 Stares at someone’s ass “Raaaawwrrrrrr”
😐 “…”
(disclaimer: based on reality but of course just extreme examples)
Pretty well. I would say face and body hair are my current biggest issue but even then I’m in a pretty good place.
My transition’s been going decently well. I’m only about a year into HRT, so I have some physical changes yet to go, and possible surgery on the horizon, but socially things have been going really good! I am out at work, at home, and with all my friends, and it’s been nice to be called Astrid by qll the people in my life.
More often than not, I look in the mirror and like the person I see. Sometimes I worry that I am still visually exactly the same when other people look at me, but what can ya do 🤷♀️