Cheating on her boyfriend with you will end in cheating on you with a new guy.
He dd the right thing, no regrets. It sucks a lot tho, and it’s hard.
how would he be raping her anyway? she was the one trying to force him to have sex with her even after he made it clear he didn’t want to
Drunk people and consent is a moral and legal gray area - it doesn’t matter if they initiate
I’m going to give a longer explanation than was already given.
So, imagine yourself at a hospital. You’re about to have a minor surgery, and get knocked out. While you’re under, some nurse comes in and fucks you in the ass.
Is that rape?
Switch things up. You’re at a bar, having a good time, someone slips something in your drink. While you’re under the influence of that hit of whatever, they take you into the bathroom and fuck you in the ass, and you agreed to that, you may even like it.
Is that rape?
On a fundamental level, if someone is visibly drunk, or even olfactorily drunk (meaning your can smell the booze on them), they are in a state of mind that is the same as being drugged. It doesn’t matter if they are initiating contact, they are unable to give meaningful consent.
Now, if you want to argue we need another term instead of rape, I’m okay with that. We can call it whatever. But we have statutory rape already, which exists because we recognize that even when someone is the initiator, there are states of mind and being that simply can’t make a choice to have sex in a meaningful way. So using the term rape for violating meaningful consent is fine, even when it’s an adult, and even when they initiate.
I am also aware that there are edge cases where consenting before consuming a substance could/should count as meaningful consent. And I’m aware that there is a range of inebriation where meaningful consent is still possible. However it is nearly impossible to tell without testing what a person’s blood alcohol level is, so we’re limited. That in turn means that the standard for (at least colloquial usage) what is and isn’t inebriated rape has to be broader than it would be if we had reliable testing on the fly.
I also agree with your point that she was ignoring consent, and being an absolutely horrible person, and if she had persisted by force or coercion and he had given in, I wouldn’t accept her being drunk as a defense against any charges brought.
But there’s a fundamental inability to consent when drunk. How drunk? That’s something that would need to be addressed by medical science and then legislated. What’s the maximum BAC someone can give meaningful consent for other things? But that fact is there, that alcohol serves to break down the ability to consent, and sex without consent is considered rape, on at least a colloquial level, if not always on a legal level everywhere.
Laaame. You don’t know their situation, seriousness, or arrangements. Fuck around. Fuck as many people as you’d like. You only live once, and your junk stops working once you’ve figured it all out.
I wouldn’t go that far. If you look at what they said, they were talking about cheating, or rather helping someone cheat.
Still a less than stellar ethical stance, but the comment they were responding to was about cheating, not consent, so I suspect that those of us that saw the ugliest possibilities in the post saw their comment with that in mind. I know I did the first time I saw the comment. It wasn’t until I came back after a response to a comment I made that I noticed the difference.
Mind you, they then went full jerk, so they aren’t exactly a pleasant individual. But I’d rather that be the issue than something they didn’t actually say.
To be fair he is right. The girl could have given consent before they began drinking. Its possible the story actually isnt rape even if they have sex.
Theres even a situation where the girl would be justified in being upset they didnt hook up.
We can’t predict the future and theres not enough details here to make a specific determination on what is right and wrong.
It is a good post to stoke discussion around consent and honesty though, just don’t take it so seriously.
anon, knows that drunk people can’t consent 👍
Anon is a good person
Anon doesn’t care she’s drunk, only that she “belongs” to someone else. Good Anon would have told her to try this again while sober and preferably single.
Unfortunately they don’t actually state their reasoning. They just state what they told her while trying to reason with them to go to sleep.
You are probably right, but its just an assumption. In their position I would also be attempting to reason with them by reminding them of their existing relationship instead of “No, I don’t want to rape you. You cannot consent.”
this isn’t right
you have a boyfriend
you have a boyfriend
They don’t actually state their reasoning
My dumb ass was expecting her to pass out and anon grilling everything in the fridge.
Ya did the right thing, anon. Your mama raised you right, and would be proud.