92 points

entrepreneur

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66 points

On its own is bad enough, but then starting with “I’m an entrepreneur first and executions are a hobby,” makes it that much worse.

I have a morbid curiosity about what he sells because I think that would be incredibly informative.

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3 points

Selling bits of rope and clothing taken off his victims as good luck charms.

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35 points

Bigger red flag than being the guy that releases the rope for guillotines

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23 points

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11 points

yeah, usually that is enough of a red flag…

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79 points

I don’t do it as often as before

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Look, if you stop you lose all the loyalty reward points you’ve been building up.

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48 points

Executioner’s guild has a good medical plan but you need to be credited for at least one execution per year. Kinda like the army.

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59 points

Flying back to Saudi Arabia from NYC with a huge axe for a single execution is barely worth the return flights these days, thanks Democrats.

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25 points

Can’t chop people’s heads off anymore because of woke

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wuz about to say, really burying the lede on this one lmfao

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61 points

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46 points

At least it’s not lethal injection 🙃

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42 points

Yeah obligatory reminder that there’s no clean way to kill

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38 points

Idk, the guillotine is a egalitarian way at least. The world could use a whole lot more guillotines.

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22 points

Oh very true. But of the currently available methods I think I’d prefer decapitation to anything else except nitrogen or similar inert gas

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17 points

just throw me in front of a concrete wall and shoot me please. It’s such a vibe

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6 points
*

At least? Injection at least theoretically can be quick and painless with the right chemicals, we do it for pets with little problem. Beheading leaves the bodyless head alive for a couple seconds.

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16 points

The chemicals they use for pet euthanasia are different than lethal injection for human execution

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mf be like

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2 points

Murders and executions/mergers and acquisitions tomato/tomato

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37 points
*

they found the guy that bonesawed khashoggi

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8 points

Nah, he’s just the executioner. He has that entrepreneurial spirit where he comes in for the action parts or “fun parts,” claims all credit for everything while dipping out and leaving the cleanup (bonesawing) for some other poor schlub.

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Me applying on LinkedIn for Tandoori Chef at the Saudi Embassy

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