checkmate Christians
He’s magic, Neil. He does it with magic.
Thank god for epic reddit science man to explain this mystery
Isn’t it kind of fucked up to teach your kids about Santa. Like you’re basically telling them that family didn’t do much gifting for them it was all Santa. Its better for the kid to know you love them and thought about them rather than lie to them and subvert your relationship
Anyways I’m going to the local mall to debate a phony Santa
I do think about that a lot, and how not receiving gifts is explained as a consequence for bad behavior. As a kid, if you notice all the poor kids aren’t getting gifts, isn’t the obvious implication that they’re all naughty?
Naughty kids get clean-burning coal, the backbone of our Nation’s energy supply. If the poor kids would just save up their coal and start a Koch competitor, they wouldn’t be poor.
Current parenting best practice is to have Santa bring one gift that’s not the penultimate best gift of the day. Helps prevent kids from realizing too early that Santa tends to favor the rich kids.
That way the rich parents can still spoil their little shit but it wasn’t Santa that brought them the ps5 pro and little Billy the knock off retro console
Santa brings our kids like socks and maybe some candies. Mom and Dad get that good shit.
“Aren’t socks like the worst gift dad?”
“No buddy, socks are the best gift, Santa knew you needed some.”
He knows I’m full of shit, but I do love a good pair of socks.
At our house the big gifts under the tree is from family and loved ones. But each of the four Sundays of advent Santa puts small gifts in the children’s rooms at night and on Christmas eve he knocks on our door and leaves a bag of small gifts after they’ve opened the ones under the tree.
There’s also a Christmas fox who hides treats in their rooms in the afternoon on the 24th, which helps pass the time until Christmas eve and the big gifts.
That way we get both things. The kids know they are getting gifts from the people who loves them and they get the excitement of Santa visiting them.
Yeah but why make kids do magical thinking? Its far better to teach them dialectical materialism and scientific rigor
Getting my toddler several yards of linen for Christmas and writing “from a worker’s labor” on the tag
As a postal worker im also kinda annoyed with Santa. Mfer I busted my ass all month delivering presents and even the elves get more credit than me
My kid is 4 and Santa is hitting hard this year even though we don’t play up the Santa stuff. The level of pervasiveness of Santa in American culture is huge. What I’ve started saying to her is: “did you know that anyone can be Santa? Sometimes mom is Santa, sometimes Dad is Santa, or grandma and grampa, and one day you’ll get to be Santa too.”
She gets all her ideas about Santa from media and other people. It feels almost impossible to avoid.
Ngl I do like doing the “if this obviously fake thing were real what would that take” but Neil is still annoying as hell
In case you were wondering, for Santa to pass through every chimney of the houses of all those who celebrate Christmas, he must be no wider than 25 cm. However, not every house has a chimney—and technically, breaking and entering via a chimney is a crime. If Santa were caught, he might end up in jail!
AITA because I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney??
ELI5 how big is Santas sack?
I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney
That sounds like a comedy premise. Santa gets shot by a paranoid homeowner and someone has to save Christmas.
Bobby McChud shoots Santa in an instance of castle doctrine. Because of the intricacies of Christmas magic McChud becomes the new Santa. He gives AR-15’s to white children and coal to woke children. Hillary ensues.
I think that’s the plot to “The Santa Claus” with Tim Allen. Basically a guy catches Santa on his roof, startles Santa, and Santa slips, falls, and dies. Apparently being Santa is some kind of memetic curse, because Tim Allen is now turning into Santa against his will, experiencing all kinds of body horror as he grows a big beard, his hair turns white, and he gains stupid amounts of weight.
A lot of houses have a chimney that’s just an exhaust for a gas furnace, not a fireplace… an interesting twist I’ve never seen an attempted explanation for
in the Santa Clause movie Tim Allen goes down those too… as he thins out to fit into the pipe and goes down, at the bottom the wall turns into a giant fireplace, until he goes back up again and it turns back into a normal wall.
lol that’s pretty funny and the goofy cgi makes it even better
Oh, sure, a spontaneous caster that spends all their time in a secluded tower definitely not studying spells. Not buying it
