70 points

Installing a bidet was one of the best decisions I’ve made in the bathroom, but it makes pooping at work a lot worse.

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14 points

Only using TP now makes me feel like cave man. If you got poop on your hand, would you just wipe it off with napkin and go on about your day? No.

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29 points

To be fair, I don’t go around touching things and eating with my bare buttcrack all day. I do those things with my hands, which I wash after going to the bathroom. And I shower at least once a day and clean that buttcrack with soap.

That’s not to say that a bidet isn’t better than TP, just that the analogy never made sense.

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4 points

You’re still carrying it around with you. Forget about it being on your hands - if you got some shit on your leg, would you wipe it off with a paper towel and call it a day? You’re not touching things and eating with your shins after all

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18 points

No, but I eat with my hands. My butt hole hardly ever touches my food before I’ve eaten it.

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9 points

hardly ever

It’s rare, but it still occurs.

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2 points

I just read your comment as, “I eat butt with my hands.”

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6 points

You don’t wash your hands after shitting?

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1 point

That’s not what I said at all.

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13 points

Omg I came here to comment exactly this. Such a luxury

You know, you could bring a water bottle to the bathroom and one of these pocket sized bidet caps and nobody would really know. Unless you chose a crinkly bottle I guess

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7 points

That is a phenomenal tip right there!! Didn’t know these products existed, thanks a ton.

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6 points

Um… my dude… I’m going to need a lot more water pressure than that…

That being said, I wonder if you could make an adapter for a battery powered paint sprayer… or just give zero fucks and leave a pressure washer in the stall. Obviously not full power, but pressure wouldn’t be an issue then.

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5 points

If you have the accessibility to leave a functioning pressure washer in the stall… you could just get a bidet installed.

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1 point

20 years ago I worked with a woman with a special water bottle. Everybody knew.

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1 point

Well I hope she owned it, though if pre-covid probably not. Sentiment has shifted a little since the great tp shortage.

If I was her today I’d fuckin own it. Already use those portable ones to shit in the woods.

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3 points

I have a bidet but can only use it in the summer because the water is ice in the winter :(. I’d love to hook up the hot water to it but there’s no way to do it in my rented house

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4 points

Extension cord and it’ll use electric heating.

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3 points

A lot of Japanese bidets have a water AND seat heating feature, no need for hot water hookup. I know it seems expensive but it’s very well-made and I’m very happy with mine.

https://a.co/d/e0QTxAN

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3 points

Searching for “self heating bidet attachment” will give you an array of options from $45 to $300

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2 points

Toilets without bidet…? How do people clean their ass? In the shower? They go around with stank ass all day

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7 points

Umm… we use a little modern miracle called the Three Seashells.

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29 points

I can only imagine. Can you image working in construction? No break room. Nowhere to sit for lunch. Eight porta potties for two hundred workers, sitting in the direct sun on a code red day. Dude that cleans them is puking.

When I got higher up, and got access to an entire building, I’d find an empty floor and use those bathrooms. Pure luxury.

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7 points

Having worked construction, there are plenty of places to sit for lunch if you don’t mind improvising or you drive to work. Porta-johns are definitely nightmarish tho. On the last job I worked, someone (we still aren’t sure who) missed the hole with a puddle of straight diarrhea, rendering one of the only two toilets on the entire job virtually unusable.

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28 points

I mean im not the type like my wife who will hold it to not use an outside toilet but I have to agree. I would say access to your fridge is equally useful though. Its just way more convenient overall. Sill not having the commute is tops. I generally had to give myself an hour on leaving to make sure I would arrive ontime and for whatever reason traffic always seems worse in the evening. So like 10 hours incinerated with travel per week. Then like the additional getting ready is like 30mins so thats another 2.5 and that fridge thing means you can eat without going out but you don’t have to pack a lunch. going to give that another .5. All the incidentals from walking my dog to being able to catch a 30min show at lunch im going to say its worth at least 2 more. Its easy to see its worth 25% on the low side and 30% on the high side (with the caveat that a job is useless if it can’t meet your bills).

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19 points

I also eat healthier and tastier. I can do dishes, laundry, and clean here and there. I am MORE productive. I don’t have to commute. But my boss is a Conservative Gen-Xer who believes working from home is the devil.

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2 points

yep i love working from home, i feel like i’m really living in my neighborhood and i can do all sorts of regular life tasks (chores, take deliveries, etc etc) whenever i like

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15 points

This is a valid point, the down side is I have to pay for the toilet paper and water myself.

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4 points

Are you that cheap?

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8 points

Sorry mate, I was just making a joke.

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2 points

That ain’t allowed in these here parts, pardner.

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3 points

I have a bidet and a towel. One toilet paper roll lasts 6 months.

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2 points
*

Pro tip, any time you do visit the office, bring a standard key for the dispenser. I mean they bought it for your use, right? If you don’t have an office nearby you can always visit someone else’s office.

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2 points

Awesome, thank you for the top tip!

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