Putting pineapple on it
There is no worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza. The way someone eats something is irrelevant. There is no good or bad here.
I personally love a good deep dish extra cheese anchovy red pepper sausage enema.
The worst way to eat a pizza is to not eat a pizza. So uh, maybe taking many pizzas, making a bath out of them and expecting to take in the nutrients through your skin?
Folding the slice in half.
You’ve got two fucking hands - give that fucker some structural support.
A pizza shouldn’t require you to fold it in half to eat it. I didn’t ask for a sheet of paper with cheese on it.
A nice slice of crispy crust pizza is made to be folded. It keeps the toppings inside, gives you twice as much pizza per bite, gives it structural integrity, and makes it possible to eat with one hand. The best slices are the ones that need a paper plate underneath. Basically a pizza sandwich.
- Place the plastic table on your nose
- Remove the crust and lick it like a rabbi at a circumcision
- Roll pieces 1,3,5 from tip to girth and arrange them into an F shape
- Roll pieces 2,4,6 from girth to tip and arrange them into a U shape.
- Thank the pizza guy who is holding the box still, and then slam the door in his face.
- Continue licking the crust you hid in your pocket, and then dial for another pizza
What. The. Fuck.
