I finally got myself medicated, and I absolutely love that I can focus on tasks and be actually productive. However, I have to remind myself that it’s ok to take a break, because I still get tired 😅
so true
Healthy Gamer GG made a video about how to manipulate/ration the tiny amount of dopamine we start the morning with. it’s helped me several times so far.
i think this is the one https://youtu.be/6CWq8wyS90o
I aced the first 3 months at a new job, even got a raise and I was complimented that if everyone was like me the business would be on a whole another level.
…aaand at that point I had learned most of what was new and interesting and now all that’s left is routine tasks – and I’m dying. It got so boring so fast that my brain switched into serious dissociation and depression. I could just sit back and enjoy the easy job and get paid but no. Suddenly it’s a struggle to finish just a simple email. Fuck this.
That’s why I like my labor job. Interesting or not, it engages the hyper bit so I can just keep moving the whole time
Not only that but the comments I get when I finally have a productive day. “See, I knew you could do it! Why don’t you just do this every day?”
It’s like training for a marathon, finally running said marathon and having people blame you for not just running a full marathon every day in the first place. Clearly you can, so why don’t you?
Except you did the marathon in a world record time, and almost every other time you attempted it, you couldn’t get halfway through at a walking pace.
This might make me sound kind of shitty, and I don’t care, but I lie about my productivity.
Can’t harness the ADHD superpowers for a project that has a 4-month timeline until the last two weeks, then bang it all out to perfection in a frenzied mania?
Every status update is ‘I’m making steady progress. I have x, y and x done, but I’m having struggles with this part of it, etc.” I don’t lie or misrepresent the actual state of my progress, but I do downplay how much work I get done while riding the rocket of ADHD productivity. And I also play up how much work I do while I’m stuck trying to squeeze some dopamine from the rocks in my head.
If I bang out a project early, I guesstimate what should be done when, and reveal those parts at status updates along the way.
Sure - I still know that I’m inconsistent, and perhaps not living up to my actual potential in every situation, but I also know that I can outperform everyone I work with when the fire has me. So rather than show the gaps, I mask and don’t deal with the guilt.
Personal belief - work is about value extraction from you. If you show that you’re not maximally providing value at all times, you could be subject to judgement. So, show that you’re working steadily and avoid the judgement.
In other words: Set the expectation and roll with that expectation. But let the ADHDemon loose a month before evaluations come due. Your boss forgets too, but the demon likes raises and will definitely give you dopamine for that prospect.
It sucks that you have to do that, but I know people who manage projects just want progress to come in on a steady drip feed. Hopefully some day you’ll get a decent manager who can understand your work style and roll with it though, or maybe get to the point of setting your own destiny!
Expectations are one of the biggest pitfalls for me. Whether they be mine, a friend/family member, a work manager, coworker, or sometimes others. It gets to me and can make me feel very frustrated and/or overwhelmed.
It’s been a loooonnnngggg journey for me to better understand that this is one of my triggers and how to best prevent it and work with it when it happens. (It’s not pretty at times but showing up to fight the good fight is better than cowering to it IMO.)
I had a rough night, unable to sleep, kept up by my failures and lack of productivity haunting me. Was up literally all night. That morning was probably the most clear headed I’d been, got a bunch of shit done while just utterly exhausted. What the fuck brain.
