I was in a mental hospital (because I was suicidal, because I’m trans) when I told my dad. I specifically told him that this is the reason why I was there and he still thinks “it’s just a phase” and deadnames me whenever I’m around. I just hope it gets better when I’m on HRT, but for now I just avoid him

I got out of the closet on vacation in a different city just to see what it would do to me. Well, it was simply impossible to get back in. I wanted to wait half a year longer but this was simply the new reality and all I could do is to try to handle it somehow.

And as I’m sure we’ve all experienced it seems to be a bigger and more difficult process for some people than it is to even ourselves. It keeps surprising me how people react. It’s such a large range.

For example I have a conservative religious aunt, but she seemed genuinely hyped for me and I never got a bad feeling from her. I’d like to visit her.

Another aunt just doesn’t seem to care at all, which means she keeps deadnaming me nonstop. It’s confusing me.

Then my mom who has professionally worked with trans people and comes across as open minded kept making the meanest comments you can imagine. I’m afraid of her now.

So ya it’s like an amazing thing to get out of the closet, but it also means you’ll have to handle a large range of reactions. Oh and lots of questions about genitals for some reason.

For me, I was 16, and my Mom noticed that I had done certain things, such as shaving my legs and painting my nails. She brought me into her room and asked me what was going on. I didn’t really feel ready to tell her yet, so I just looked at her in silence. She asked me a million questions and eventually she asked me if I’m trans. I still wasn’t ready yet, but I also didn’t want to lie either, so I didn’t say anything. She asked me again, and I knew she was on to me, so I gave a sheepish little nod. She told me she loved me and gave me a hug, although she did have a bit of prejudice towards me at first, but she gradually became more accepting over time.

Imo, it is better to come out sooner rather than later. If they have prejudice towards you but still love you, they will come around eventually. I think that because the people around me have gotten to see me progress through my transition, it is helped them to more easily see me as human. Of course, come out when you are ready. It sucks to not be able to come out in the way you want to, and being that I was forced out early, I’m not sure what the experience is like if you come out later. My thoughts are that because humans tend to not like new things, their reaction might be a bit harsher if you come out later.

The whole “vanish for a couple years and show back up as a woman” appeals so much… I just don’t think I could do that to my mother. The rest of my family I couldn’t care less but I would feel guilty not involving her.

Maybe in a couple years, some therapy for anxiety, and a different job, I’ll think about coming out. No HRT anytime soon, family and personal history of growing/developing EXTREMELY fast I get the feeling it would out me within months haha

For now, hair removal and some comfy clothes to wear at home is my goal. Found an electrolysis place nearby that does roughly $85 an hour (no matter what I’ve wanted permanent hair removal “down there” since it started growing.) Maybe laser to greatly thin out bulk body hair.

Was supposed to get some pretty (over knee and thigh high) socks delivered today but something went wrong; supposedly were delivered, but i think they went to the wrong place 😥