Hiya ladies,
With my hair growing, nails manicured, and eyebrows shaped, it’s going to become harder and harder to boymode inconspicuously around family or friends (only my partner knows). On the other side of that, I’m nowhere near passing or even presenting femme in public, which makes the idea of coming out quite scary as they’re seeing masculinity when I’m declaring femininity.
Part of me wants to wait like two years and then one day suddenly appear as my new completely feminine (hopefully beautiful!) self without any warning or advance notice! So people see the best version of myself, rather than seeing the mid-transition mess I am right now (or pre-transition mess I was!). But realistically I know that’s not gonna work!
So I’d love to hear some coming out stories and when in your transition you decided it was right for you! And how those you came out to responded, if you’re comfortable sharing that!
Coming out was a lot easier for me than expected. My Mom’s side of the family is cool and when I came out to them as a trans enby and mentioned wanting to start hormone therapy they were incredibly supportive.
What was a real surprise was my Dad’s reaction. We’d grown apart since I was outed as gay at 16, and he really doesn’t “get” why I’d want to transition, but after clearing up a bit of confusion he accepted me as well. Just wants me to be happy. Woo!! __
Its great to hear that your dad came around :)
Personally I probably couldn’t have resisted a little trolling along the lines of “Hey dad, so I am technically no longer gay…” :D
Not on HRT, but im really in luck with my face i guess…,
I’m doing my nails, curly or brushed long hairs, makeup,
Anarchist Lesbian Look,
Im not seeing my family, and if i have to do, for an execption, i can go in boy mode. I got insults because you know, just hairs.
So like you, i think, one day i will appear to them as real me, but not now.
Now that you have my context ^^",
For now, im doing my CO, at work. No choice ofc.
That wasnt a surprise for them of course. They were alreadry chocked before.
The positiv part, in all of this, i gained confidence.
And i can see, who is an “ally”, at least not hostile, without being in my paranoia H24,
The biggest positiv part ? I want to try something new on my face, outfit, i just can without thinking anymore.
Yeah im superficial ah ah
I came out almost immediately for a couple reasons:
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my mental health was total garbage and boymoding was literally unbearable
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I knew that most of my friends and family were pretty accepting and open minded
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I lived in a very diverse and accepting city at the time
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this was during the height of Covid restrictions so nobody was going out anyway
Basically the discomfort of hiding my true self overrode the fear of being openly and visibly trans lol
Fortunately everyone I came out to was really positive about it. I was prepared to cut out a few of my extended family members if it came to that, but thankfully I didn’t need to
The only thing I wish could have gone differently is that I stayed in the closet at work. I had some problematic coworkers so I didn’t feel safe being openly trans there. Unsurprisingly I didn’t last long at that job lol
Don’t think I could start HRT without at least coming out to a couple more people (not like I literally can’t, but I feel it important for me). With my brother, I came out to him basically as soon as I started questioning my gender and updated him whenever I got a chance. My cousin also knows. Brother was helpfully skeptical, but excited. My cousin didn’t have much reaction. Mostly just a “Walrus gonna do what Walrus gonna do”
My parents, sister, and friend have seen me dress in varying degrees of gender non-conformity (including my sister seeing me cosplaying as a female character), enough so that two of them have explicitly asked if I’m a woman (which I just said no because I consider myself an enby). Not exactly trying to hide it, but also kinda uncomfortable talking about it.
One thing I can say is that I wouldn’t stress too much about the whole mid transition mess thing. No one, including you, will really remember it or see it as important once its over.
It’s hugely important when you’re in the middle of it, but it doesn’t stay that way :)
