- My knee still doesn’t feel right after that hiking trip two weeks ago.
- I started listening to really old music.
Have I crossed the threshold?
Nope, you’re describing not being young, that’s nothing like being actually old. Growing old has a bunch of stages:
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joint pain
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can no longer dance all night
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hangovers last all day
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dentists start talking to you about your gums
But then you get to the phase of
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skin losing elasticity
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liking dinner parties
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marijuana is now a medicine
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developed distinct preferences about stuff like threadcount
And then after that the next phase is more like
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a lot of time worrying about your parents
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all body fat migrates to one or two of its favourite spots
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seriously consider putting everything on lanyards
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your favourite singers are all dead
And so on, you get the picture. That’s as far as I’ve traveled but as far as I can see the phases after that involve things like bladder leakage and losing friends to alzheimers.
I’m getting toward the last, my favorite singers are dying. My wife and I just saw the B-52s in concert. They are in their mid seventies. They were in their thirties when I started listening to them. Ugh.
Multiple of your friends have cancer, died of cancer, or of other illnesses. But mostly the cancer.
You wonder if your bowels are OK. They are not.
fuck, this is accurate. i recognized myself in everything you wrote. (age 50ies)
I worried about my mum constantly since I was only 14/15, she had heart disease and died three years ago at 54. My dad also has heart problems, copd, diabetes, psoriasis and arthritis in his hands. He’s only 55 and I don’t know if he’ll even live to retirement age. I’m only 27.
Edit: Should’ve included this. I also have ulcerative colitis which is a form of IBD Irritable Bowel Disease and I do shit myself several times a year) so my bowels are fucked already. Again I’m only 27. By your metrics I’ve met two of the conditions to be old due to shite luck with the roll of the dice of life.
Sorry friend, that sounds really hard. I’m really sorry you lost your mum.
Someone I knew with colitis said it calmed down by itself after about a decade, so I hope that happens to you.
I’m hoping it calms down when I get out on a different medication. The new one I’m on doesn’t seem to be working despite the fact according to the manufacturer it should start working in 48 hours and I should’ve noticed a gradual difference at this point and it should work fully within 3 weeks. Anyway there’s a specialist nurse that’s my main point of contact for care for it and she wants to put me on a biologic that’s taken as an IV drip which would mean I’d see an improvement quickly. The consultant that makes the decisions and has the final say disagrees and wants me still on the one that doesn’t seem to work. I’m in hospital again after only leaving a month ago and my symptoms are worse today so the current treatment that I’m on in hospital may not be working so the nurse might end up winning the argument. I’m hoping she does because I’d love to get rid of the flare I’ve had since January and feel like normal again.
I remember my mom telling me about phases of life as she experienced them:
- All your friends start getting married, you go to a lot of weddings
- All your friends start having kids, you go to a lot of baby showers
- Many of your friends start getting divorced, and you have to deal with trying to be friends with the former couple separately
- Many of your friends get married a second time, weddings again
- Many of your friends start having grandkids
At the time she concluded with “Some those were hard, but it was all okay. But now, all my friends are dying…”
Yeah, for me the big thing wasn’t even that my belly is becoming more and more of an issue despite my weight being the same, it was how how many cancer checkups are all of a sudden free and done regularly and how doctors always do a routine full checkup no matter why I went there. (am 40+)
My mom once planned a trip up to my city with some of her friends to see a concert, they made plans a few weeks out but by the time the day arrived, she was coming up for two funerals, the group was smaller by two people. She told me “can’t make long range plans when you are old, go see people right away because if you wait they might be dead!”
Stage one: Effortful noise when rising from a low chair/sofa
Stage two: Inability to rise from a low chair/sofa. Beanbag? Nooooo….
My own turning point was finding myself unable to get out of the bath by just standing up. It was comic but also terrifying. I eventually worked out I could lever myself up with my arms. Phew.
Some things I’ve noticed in my early 40s:
- You talk about things like property taxes and 401k contributions more often than you ever thought would be possible
- You seriously weigh whether a drink is worth the bad sleep and headache it’ll cause you
- Your pop-culture references are lost on younger folks
- You start referring to college-aged people as “kids”
- You need reading glasses but you’re in denial about it
- Injuries take longer to heal
- Those of your peers who haven’t taken care of themselves are starting to have serious health issues
- You care more about flossing, skincare, fiber, and hydration
- You still rock bottom eyeliner like you did in high school
- You’ve seen fashion from your high school years go out of style and then come back as “retro”
- You see the utter confusion on your nephew’s face when you explain that you used to keep a quarter in your bike pouch in case you needed to call someone, because he doesn’t remember a time before cell phones and his generation isn’t allowed to just roam around unsupervised on their bikes
- You have strong opinions about things like laundry detergent brands
- Birds become fascinating
- You have no problem spending a few hundred dollars on a new kayak paddle, but the price of cold cuts these days is just unacceptable
That’s bang on. Aside from the quarter. I used to call collect and they would get “Would you like to receive a collect call from ‘Hidadcomepickmeup’?”
Good o’le “Bobwehadababyitsaboy”
I also remember when CarrotTop did the C-A-L-L-A-T-T commercial, so that’s fun/old…
What’s really old music? Like Greenday?
I didn’t even know who the weekend was until a couple years ago. Green day I do because I like the band a lot.
I mostly listen to music from my parents’ youth. Growing up I listened to the oldies station a whole lot (Oldies 98.1 used to be so good!). I’m Gen X, they’re boomers. So classic rock is definitely in the mix, but also artists like Petula Clark, the Supremes, Tommy James and the Shondells, etc. There’s a great station on SiriusXM called '60s Gold that I listen to pretty much every day.
And then when I need a change, I switch to New Wave / post-punk or Grunge.
i think people are way too worried about being old while not enjoying the youth they have left right now
you can always be and feel older
You start noticing bird species you’ve never seen before… Wait! Was that a cedar waxwing???
