If my name was either exceptionally hard to say by another species, or if by them uttering my name it could bind me into their service or kill me or whatever, I’d probably go with whatever stupid name they came up with for me too.

I like the name two-legs

You can’t expect a Lizard Attack Helicopter to know how to write literature from the perspective of the shitheads who are always trying to break into their home and kill them for some shiny metal or leftovers in the fridge.

Humans on the other hand have no excuse for not completely understanding what it is like to be a dragon, in reality we are pretty much exactly the dragons of the real world….

…which is also exactly why dragons aren’t that interested in getting to know us well enough to write us realistically, they already know the same exact story in their own language and their language has way more fun stuff like fireballs and singed sheep and mmmmm a whole pasture of cows and WHOOOOOSSHHH.

…then again there all these stories about innocent princesses being abducted by cruel dragons right before the idyllic wedding happens and I can’t help but think about all the times historians dismiss close relationships between two men or two women in history as definitely just a really great bro-sesh friendship no queerness nope, no giant billboards saying THEY WERE PROBABLY GAY AND BEAUTIFUL.

So maybe dragons are just pulling a solid for women and periodically “brutally abduct them” (bust them out of their suffocating shit wedding on a flying motorcycle except they are the motorcycle (think Hagrid and motorcycle - Hagrid) AND they can spit fire out of both their front and back) and then when the man comes to rescue the princess the dragon gets a free meal and the woman gets to relax the whole time at the Dragon’s place and vent about how awful overbearing toxic hetero men are who seem to get to run everything in society.

If this is the case we have much to be worried about because it means Dragons are not only terrifyingly smart and powerful, they are also woke as fuck.

I’m naming my kid Dangle-balls.

Yeah, no human would ever have “balls” in their name. That’d be ridiculous!