97 points

When the only thing neuken me in my keuken is life. 😔

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44 points

Kutleven!

(The Dutch attach genitals or diseases to words to turn them into swearwords. This one is often used for “shit life” but it literally means “vagina life” which I find very fitting and ironic in this context)

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26 points

cunt life would be better. Even more correct: a cunt’s life , ie a very bad life.

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9 points

I took into account that OP’s domain is from the UK, where everybody calls each other a cunt and therefore lifes a cunt’s life by default.

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14 points

To add a few more examples:

  • zakkenwasser (sack/bollocks washer, an asshole)
  • lul-de-behanger ([mister]cock-the-wallpaperer, also translates to asshole)
  • lullen (dicking/cocking, talking nonsense)
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10 points

this sounds funny bc keuken sounds like dick in swedish

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9 points

And kök looks like cock in English, so we’ve come full circle (I know it’s not pronounced that way)

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42 points

Swedish Chef.gif

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27 points
2 points

Turkey slap

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2 points

We used to call that a mushroom stamp.

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3 points

Penalizing someone works too

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22 points

I read this in Canadian.

“Oh yeah bud, we were just neuken in keuken all night eh?”

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9 points

“When yer livin’ in the good ol’ American north, sometimes nucken in the keuken is the only entertainment ya have, don’tcha know?”

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4 points

Ye’ll freeze ta death out here witout yer neuken bud.

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21 points

Nederlands regel :-)

Something that’s always confused me is that here we don’t pronounce numbers from left to right. So instead of hundred ninety six (100-90-6) we say honderd zes-en-negentig (100-6-90)

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23 points
*

English used to be that way as well:

Sing a song of sixpence

A pocket full of rye

Four and twenty blackbirds

Baked in a pie.

In these lyrics “four and twenty” means 24

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10 points

Which actually makes sense when you remember that English, before the Normans at least, was very close to dutch.

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15 points

And it’s all because they are germanic languages (at least old English is), and this is the same in German (vier und zwanzig).

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0 points

Yeah, and then we got better

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