I am in the interview process for a job in a research group and it is going well so far. The only issue is that I was attracted to the person that interviewed me and I am going to be working with if I get hired.
My girlfriend is the most important person in the world for me so I don’t want to risk catching feelings for someone else, but I also need to find a job if I am to rent a place to finally live with her.
What would you do in my case? Would you stop the interview process and try to find a job elsewhere or would you go for it and trust that you would do the right thing?
This question might sound deranged to you, but I have the full autism/ADHD/OCD combo so I am very out of touch with how the average person thinks.
You’ll meet a bunch of attractive (to you) people through work. You won’t be able to avoid it forever. I suggest you to work on yourself to avoid professional problems in the future.
If I cheated everytime I worked with someone I find attractive I would have cheated dozens of times. Cheating isn’t something you have to do, just… Don’t do it. Also as others have said, start working in yourself, positive directions, self improvement…if you need to chat, message me.
At the end of the day, you’re in control of your actions. You can catch feelings with as many people as you’d like but the only thing that really matters is which one of them you’ve put in the work with, and who you’re willing to do the hard work of building a relationship with.
If your girlfriend is the most important person in the world to you, you don’t have anything else to worry about. I wouldn’t pass up a job I was excited for over something like this.
On the inverse - are you maybe having these thoughts because you’re not as secure in your relationship as you should be? It’s something to consider. You might find that you have repressed feelings that are unresolved, or you might become even more confident in your current relationship.
It’s true that I am not secure, I get a lot of anxiety if I haven’t seen her (not communicated) for some days, and I am a bit of an attention seeker. And that’s something I have to resolve, but it also scares me because people with the same traits as me (maybe magnified) do cheat
It’s pretty easy to be attracted to someone and just… keep it professional?
Like I have had colleagues I find attractive but tbh even flirting let alone asking someone out on a date at work is a bright red line for me. Women deserve to be treated as professionals at the work place and not sexualized. Plenty of fish in the sea and hey, you’ve already got one
It’s pretty easy to be attracted to someone and just… keep it professional?
I guess it is. I am just not very used to interacting with women besides my gf, mother and sisters so I just don’t want to mess up due to immaturity or something. I will just follow the reasonable rules of not getting close to other people I am attracted to, not doing drugs without my gf present etc
Yes, but we seem to be very different people. I’m gonna guess you’re younger and this is one of your first jobs? I would never give up a job because I was worried about being surrounded by attractive people, in fact it will likely make your job more pleasant. You need to have a struggle session with yourself and dissect where these fears are coming from like others have said.
One sign of maturity is coming to terms that attractive people are normal people too, and that you need to delineate legitimately wanting to change partners, and just feeling horny lol. If you are worried about self-control, set boundaries and be mindful of your behaviour, especially if you are under the influence.
