174 points

Phrases that make absolutely no fucking sense in 194 countries out of 195

Elementary school police officer

😳

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9 points

I’d yeehaw if’n twernt so sad.

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3 points

Gotta make sure there’s no drug deals going on

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89 points

School bus tail gunner.

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21 points

Kindergarten Grenadier.

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7 points

I think less than 193 tbh… In Latvia, a Social Democrat party has proposed surveillance cameras and pigs in schools. I’m pretty sure in other countries there has been talk as well

https://www.baltictimes.com/news/articles/6104/

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-4 points

Man, social democrats sure do like building police states…

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-10 points

Like the socialist Nazi party throwing a world war with a side of genocide.

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6 points

Here, it’s the opposite. The social democrats and their allies were in government for a long time and the second the more conservatives (still pretty left compared to the USA though) got power they proposed a fuck ton of laws including visitation zones where they can search people without suspect. That law actually goes into effect very soon.

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1 point

Says the guy living in a police state run by liberals…

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10 points

I’m an American, and I’ve never heard of this. I think it might mostly be a joke at the expense of the shithole officers of Uvalde.

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24 points

They are often called “resource officers” and there was at least one in every public school I went to (east coast).

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6 points

2 at our highschool, 1 in jr high

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5 points

My high schools (private and public) had security guards

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6 points

Must be Arnold Schwarzenegger working there

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6 points

IT’S NOT A TUMOR!

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2 points

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

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8 points

gotta teach those kids how to lick boots early on in life.

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4 points
*

Well, you wouldn’t want to let all these kids play with their guns without an officer to watch over them, would you?

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3 points

My country had police officers in all schools for a month or so after the First Ever School Shooting In The Entire Country happened, but only because parents demanded it.

This was only a bit ago actually.

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5 points

I think most countries will eventually go through one. For the UK it was Dunblane, after which the government went “no more handguns then?” and we all went “yeah, I suppose”, because only a handful of people kept them anyway.

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2 points

We have that in Brazil as well

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2 points

No, see they’re mostly there so children learn to obey through intimidation talk to police, and they definitely never use it as a punishment detail for officers who got in trouble for anger issues

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11 points

Is not it supposed to be chilled? By noon it will be warm, and drinking warm coke is just disgusting, unless it is mostly alcohol, and then you would just not remember.

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9 points

USB police fridge baby

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27 points

If your expected to empty this everyday you’ll eventually end up being diabetic.

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17 points

Cirrhosis of the liver will get you first.

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6 points

Sugar free coke would be the way to go.

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4 points

Skip the Coke altogether, to much caffeine. Just stick to rum neat.

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-5 points

Sugar-free means they are using a sugar substitute known as aspartame that’s known to cause cancer.

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13 points

Pfft. You’re underestimating the human liver.

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3 points
*

If we’re not joking, I kind of think the liver would go first. Unless your mixing it to like a 4% ABV, then maybe the beetus might get ya first.

Honestly there is a good chance you stress your liver out so much that the sugar and your food (bc let’s be honest, your probably not eating healthy either) gets turned into a shitload of triglycerides and you stroke out or have a heart attack from too long of hyperlipidemia.

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6 points

Good.

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58 points

I have a special hate for inspirational water bottles, stickers or notebooks.

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46 points

I have a special hatred for school police officers.

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12 points

Me too, although it’s slightly less than normal ones, the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other and DARE once a year.

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13 points

D.A.R.E.- Drugs Are Really Enjoyable

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8 points

Ours got a kick over charging kids with felonies that would follow them the rest of their lives.

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11 points

the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other

Ngl that sounds pretty good

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8 points

Had one of those at a previous job once Got stolen after a few days

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5 points

Were you working as an elementary school police officer?

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2 points

No. As an HVAC builder

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